Some young people are free in the evenings or have days off at school, which way can bring them the most benefit?
1- To accumulate work experience by a part-time job or volunteering in a community
2-Learning to play a sport
3- Learning to play a musical instrument
There is a lot of debate about how students could use their free time more efficiently. Some people believe young people should attend entertainment courses like sport or musical classes. On the other hand, others believe students should do a part-time job or volunteering in a community. I believe part-time jobs and volunteering activities could be more helpful for students because they would prepare for their future life and learn how to live independently; moreover, volunteering in a community let them feel more relax. I will illustrate my reasons in the following paragraphs.
First of all, part-time jobs help students to learn how to live independently because they would understand how difficult it is earning money. Moreover, they will have some money which they earned it so hard. Thus, they will try to spend it in the right way. On the other hand, the students who attend sports classes or musical classes instead of doing part-time jobs would always be dependent on their parents to give them money until they grow up. Consequently, at that time, they should look for job and become independent without any preparation from before. For example, when I was a kid, my brother worked with my father in his days off. Although he could have done more entertainment activities, he felt great because he was independent in comparison to his classmates. Therefore, as he grew up, he prepared more for his future.
Second, helping other people in a way that you like leads to be happier and feel your mind get relieved. In other words, volunteering in a community means you like that community and enjoy to be there. Thus, as a result of this happiness, your productivity will increase which can ensure more success in the other activities. For instance, when I was a student, I decided to attend a voluntary environmental group that helps to clean the environment by peaking up trashes. Indeed, it was fun and moreover, it made me feel positive about myself. As a result of this feeling, I attended my classes with a relieved mind which led to an increase in my productivity in learning new things. Hence, it helped me to get better grades that semester.
Based on the aforementioned reasons, it can be concluded that doing a part-time job or volunteering in a community would be more helpful for young people to do in their free time.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 184, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'enjoy being'.
Suggestion: enjoy being
...unity means you like that community and enjoy to be there. Thus, as a result of this happin...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, hence, if, look, moreover, second, so, therefore, thus, for example, for instance, as a result, first of all, in other words, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 54.0 43.0788530466 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1954.0 1977.66487455 99% => OK
No of words: 400.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.885 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.472135955 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85989073218 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 212.727598566 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.495 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 607.5 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.2005918237 48.9658058833 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.0476190476 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.0476190476 20.6045352989 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.80952380952 5.45110844103 143% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.195533961764 0.236089414692 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0569978077641 0.076458572812 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0470196103437 0.0737576698707 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.13482637188 0.150856017488 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0439757017963 0.0645574589148 68% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 11.7677419355 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.02 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.54 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 86.8835125448 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.