It is generally said that successful people are willing to try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they are good at now. I totally agree with this idea and would like to explain why I support this idea with reasons and examples as follows.
First, successful guys enjoy doing new businesses with many risks, because they know that there are high returns in a job with high risk. In low risk things, there must be many people already working with severe competition, so a big investment would be the key factor to win in a game and players would share yields at certain rate. However, in a new and risky field, creativity and strong passion would be the most important things and the winner can take all the yield, because only few players are in the game. This point leads successful people to take risks continuously. For example, when Elon musk, the founder of Tesla electric car company, founded his company, most people regarded him as a crazy guy and the electric car not profitable. They criticized a lot that electric car cannot go long distances and never be the main stream of car industry. However, Tesla became the biggest car company in stock value and he is the richest man in the world after overcoming those risks.
Second, successful men know that they have to try new things to continue their successes. Our world is changing and developing so fast, so we have to learn and try many new things to catch the speed of development. For instance, there was Nokia, the biggest mobile phone company around the year 2000. Nokia was the biggest conventional 2G mobile phone, but they did not try and prepare new smartphone era. They did not exert their efforts in developing new smartphone technology and even ignoring new advent of the smartphone wave, because the 2G mobile phone technology was what they knew how to do well. A decade later, Nokia became one of the smallest players in the phone industry and Apple, an innovative computer company became an unbeatable world number one with new smartphone innovation in this business.
To sum up, taking risks and trying new things are regarded as the most important factors for winning success, and we can see many cases of big companies that have disappeared, due to not taking new things and risks. In this regard, I strongly agree that economically powerful people enjoy doing new things and taking risks.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 370, Rule ID: TRY_AND[1]
Message: "Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "'try to'" is recommended for writing.
Suggestion: try to
...ional 2G mobile phone, but they did not try and prepare new smartphone era. They did no...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, second, so, well, for example, for instance, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 43.0788530466 72% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1977.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 416.0 407.700716846 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.75240384615 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51620172871 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42353356312 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5 0.524837075471 95% => OK
syllable_count: 601.2 618.680645161 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.3233671792 48.9658058833 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.294117647 100.406767564 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.4705882353 20.6045352989 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.41176470588 5.45110844103 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.418746618166 0.236089414692 177% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.138607987763 0.076458572812 181% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.147401407122 0.0737576698707 200% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.269435228342 0.150856017488 179% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0665488305358 0.0645574589148 103% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 11.7677419355 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.57 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.48 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 86.8835125448 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.