TPO-20 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

There are many kinds of people in the world. There are a lot of people who became successful in the world and some of them have mammoth curiosity for trying new things by taking risks. There are people who disagree about attempting new things that they have not tried before. However, I agree about this statement. There are about two reasons for this statement: first, by trying new things by taking risks, I can realize the size of the world and acquire diversity that I have never seen or tried. In addition, I can be responsible about my act more and more; also, I would be more mature by these risks.Thus, I believe that trying new things and taking risks are more beneficial than doing what they know how to do well.

Primarily, trying new things by taking risks, I can realize the size of the world and types of new things that I never seen or tried. It means that when people try new things, they can recognize that there are a lot of types of things that people do not know and they can realize that the world is very big. There is an example for this idea: when my father was in the college, he said to me that he attempted new things to gain knowledge. By doing this, he was able to achieved more knowledge and he was able to perceive that the world is big. Therefore, there are a lot of new things that people have not tried in their generation.

Secondarily, I can be responsible about my act more an more; also, I would be more mature by trying new things. It means that when people do their favorite things, they have to get responsible because doing favorite things is for fun and satisfaction of themselves. For instance, about this idea: when I was a child, my parents always said to me that you have to get responsibility about your doing because only you can control and know the reasons of doing something, which is you wanted to do; also, you can be more mature because getting responsibilty about your act is very hard. So parents taught me like that and finally, I was able to get responsibility easily and I became more mature than before.

In conclusion, there are many kinds of people. Some of them, there are people who want to try new things and take risks. In my opinion, I believe that trying new thing and taking risks is more beneficial than doing things that you can do well because I can recognize that world is wide and there are new thinh that I never tried. In addition, I can get more responsibility about myself and my act and I can be more mature than before. So I agree about this statement.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 93, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...re a lot of people who became successful in the world and some of them have mammo...
^^
Line 1, column 187, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... for trying new things by taking risks. There are people who disagree about attemptin...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 467, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... size of the world and acquire diversity that I have never seen or tried. In addi...
^^
Line 1, column 608, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Thus
..., I would be more mature by these risks.Thus, I believe that trying new things and t...
^^^^
Line 5, column 53, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
... I can be responsible about my act more an more; also, I would be more mature by t...
^^
Line 5, column 201, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...gs, they have to get responsible because doing favorite things is for fun and sat...
^^
Line 5, column 318, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ce, about this idea: when I was a child, my parents always said to me that you ha...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, however, second, so, therefore, thus, well, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 15.1003584229 192% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 26.0 11.0286738351 236% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 77.0 43.0788530466 179% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2080.0 1977.66487455 105% => OK
No of words: 471.0 407.700716846 116% => OK
Chars per words: 4.4161358811 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65859790218 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.38369975313 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 149.0 212.727598566 70% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.316348195329 0.524837075471 60% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 655.2 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 19.0 9.59856630824 198% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.3158531651 48.9658058833 142% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.0 100.406767564 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.55 20.6045352989 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.05 5.45110844103 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.303280713704 0.236089414692 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.113582418769 0.076458572812 149% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0767061837775 0.0737576698707 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.226847662126 0.150856017488 150% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0392094108763 0.0645574589148 61% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 11.7677419355 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 58.1214874552 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.65 10.9000537634 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.35 8.01818996416 79% => OK
difficult_words: 47.0 86.8835125448 54% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.