There is a great debate about being a sportsman or a scientist, but what people need to know is that the knowledge has given the most notorious advents to the world. Therefore, as I am concerned institutions such as universities or colleges are forced to invest more money in classes and libraries which are the pillars of education. I strongly believe this because students will develop new breakthroughs in the future and will drive their success.
First of all, it is common knowledge that students who go into science have better opportunities than who go into sports or art; even though it does not sound well, it is true. In my own example, when I was 18 thinking about what I should study in the university (career path), I had a lot of problems because I was a musician –and I keep being now- and I was playing in a bunch of bands. However, I realized that my life would be assured if I went for Industrial Engineering. So, I decided to go in that way and now I have a great job, a beautiful wife and children, and I feel happy. And I feel that the classes served me a lot to achieve it.
Second, It is said that if you follow your heart you can find the best way of dealing with all the difficulties in the world, nonetheless, I would say that it is not asserted due to the fact that if you do not make the right decisions you will not be as successful as you want. For instance, living with my father who has been a determined man and always has been giving me some pieces of advice about my life and career according to his life experience, which is not the worst, but he being an artist has not had the life that he had wanted, therefore, I keep thinking about my father’s mistakes in order to get great deals in my life.
To sum up, although being an artist or musician you could survive, going for a science career will give you the peace that you need in your future, moreover, it could provide you some important tools to cope with some future negative situations, and to be successful. As a result, what I think is that universities should give more attention, and money, to classes and libraries.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 349, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[7]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'has' and 'been'.
Suggestion: has always been
...ather who has been a determined man and always has been giving me some pieces of advice about m...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 487, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'is'.
Suggestion: is
...erience, which is not the worst, but he being an artist has not had the life that he ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, moreover, nonetheless, second, so, therefore, well, for instance, i feel, i think, such as, as a result, first of all, it is true, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 38.0 52.1666666667 73% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1736.0 1977.66487455 88% => OK
No of words: 395.0 407.700716846 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.39493670886 4.8611393121 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45809453852 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61105337817 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.506329113924 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 536.4 618.680645161 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.6003584229 58% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 20.1344086022 159% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 86.2597418009 48.9658058833 176% => OK
Chars per sentence: 144.666666667 100.406767564 144% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.9166666667 20.6045352989 160% => OK
Discourse Markers: 13.75 5.45110844103 252% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.10846662045 0.236089414692 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0391599576867 0.076458572812 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0412897372946 0.0737576698707 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0675214280343 0.150856017488 45% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0315425473744 0.0645574589148 49% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.7 11.7677419355 133% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.92 58.1214874552 96% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.77 10.9000537634 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 86.8835125448 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 10.0537634409 147% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.