As television becomes more and more popular, advertising through television is increasingly effective. Consequently companies have been investing a lot of efforts to design differrent advertisements targeting at specific customers, including adults and children. In my opinion advertisments aimed at young children at the age of two to five should not be allowed.
First, children at this age cannot clearly differentiate between reality and fantasy so advertisments can easily deceive them, which is morally unacceptable. Most advertisements targeting at young children are animated so they are excited to see but the stories in these advertisements can never happen in real life. An adult or even a child at the older age from six to ten fully understands this fact but younger children may consider everything they see as reality. For example, an advertisment for a kind of milk that supplements calcium to make kids grow taller may illustrate its idea by showing an image of a small child doubling its height in just the blink of an eye. When a baby at the age of two or three sees that, it perceives what it sees as the truth. Consequently the baby may make its parents buy the milk because it wants to grow taller fast. Very young children should be protected against that kind of deception.
Second, watching too much advertisements on television has a bad effect on young children’s health. Advertisements aimed at young children are often made very fascinating and colorful like cartoons to attract children’s attention. However, watching television in general affects children’s sight. We see more and more children at primary school wearing eyeglasses nowadays partly because they watch television too much. It would be better for them to spend their time playing with their peers and exploring the surrounding environment rather than watching television. Furthermore, many advertisements for sweets target children and thus stimulate children to eat more sweets. Eating candies can interfere with the normal growth of children’s teeth or even cause tooth decay.
In conclusion, advertising aimed at young children has many possible bad effects on children’s mental and physical health. That is why these advertisements should be strictly restricted.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 104, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
...h television is increasingly effective. Consequently companies have been investing a lot of ...
Line 3, column 768, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
...it perceives what it sees as the truth. Consequently the baby may make its parents buy the m...
Line 5, column 22, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
...d of deception. Second, watching too much advertisements on television has a bad ...
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, furthermore, however, if, may, second, so, thus, for example, in conclusion, in general, kind of, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 43.0788530466 56% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1941.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 357.0 407.700716846 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.43697478992 4.8611393121 112% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34677393335 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.22521499828 2.67179642975 121% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 212.727598566 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.574229691877 0.524837075471 109% => OK
syllable_count: 583.2 618.680645161 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.3731811951 48.9658058833 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.157894737 100.406767564 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7894736842 20.6045352989 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.21052631579 5.45110844103 132% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.209070572897 0.236089414692 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0805188852024 0.076458572812 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.054857350345 0.0737576698707 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.153456173394 0.150856017488 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0409818385892 0.0645574589148 63% => OK
automated_readability_index: 13.6 11.7677419355 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.27 10.9000537634 131% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.38 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 10.002688172 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.