TPO-10 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

We are living in the energetic world with the lighting-fast paced of technological advancement allowing people to enjoy their lives in many different ways. Computer game is one of those ways and frankly speaking, it brings a lot of joy to those who know how to enjoy. But children, on the contrary way, do not know how to control themselves and could be addicted to playing a video game. I am the opinion that children should not be allowed to play a video game, which I will explore in the following essay.

First of all, children are not in complete control with their behavior due to their immaturity mentally and physically, and they could be sway by a lot of factors, especially the very entertainment video game. We all know that video games are made for the purpose of entertaining people, who willing to pay money for their pleasure. Therefore, video games contain plots and twists they lure a player to spend their time playing it. As an adult, we could spend hours to play a video game and still manage to get back to work because we know and understand the responsibility. Children, on the other hand, can not handle themselves as an adult. They are just simply want to play and have fun. They unconsciously enjoy the fun of playing video without regard to the harmful effects.

Secondly, children are prone to video game addiction, which mean that they could turn all of their energy into playing a video game and abandon others important tasks in their life. As mentioned above, due to their immature mind children can not distinguish which tasks is more important in their life. As a result, children choose the thing that easy to do and make them happy. Later on down that road, they develop video game-dependent or addiction to a video game. For example, my nephew is a good example for this. At the age of ten, he received a computer as a gift for his birthday. At first, his parents want him to use a computer as a way to learn new things as well as getting familiar with the internet. A few months later, they found out that instead of studying, my nephew spends hours and hours playing an online first-person-shooter game. Things even get serious when we tried to take his computer away, he started yelling and throwing stuff to gain its back.

In conclusion, children should not be allowed to play a video game, because of their naive mind could not handle the enticement of a video game, and because children could be easily addicted to a video game.

Votes
Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 135, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...alowwing people to enjoy their lives in many different ways. Computer game is one of those way...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 216, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'brings'?
Suggestion: brings
... of those ways and frankly speaking, it bring a lot of joy to those who know how to e...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, frankly, if, second, secondly, so, still, therefore, well, for example, in conclusion, as a result, as well as, first of all, on the contrary, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2020.0 1977.66487455 102% => OK
No of words: 430.0 407.700716846 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.6976744186 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55372829156 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57497210495 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.504651162791 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 610.2 618.680645161 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.5035901769 48.9658058833 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.1904761905 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4761904762 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.19047619048 5.45110844103 150% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 20.0 11.8709677419 168% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.216455983383 0.236089414692 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0751063080915 0.076458572812 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0569907670337 0.0737576698707 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.161249541242 0.150856017488 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0289934308488 0.0645574589148 45% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 11.7677419355 93% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.98 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.64 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 86.8835125448 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.