The world is a vast, diverse place, but the people who inhabit it make it even more diverse. Arguably, getting to know a new culture is the thing that can change how one person sees the world. So, I think it is reasonable to conclude that the more we know different societies the more we learn about the world, and we should prioritize this knowledge over traveling inside our own country.
First, if we go to a foreign country, we will get to see how different life can be just because of the culture. We often think that our lives are fixated by the circumstances in the environment, maybe if we live in a town that relies on farming we can think it is natural that our diet is mostly pork, but in a different society, people might not eat pork just because their culture forbids it. Visiting other nations can make us realize how culture impacts our daily lives.
Moreover, people can appreciate a true change of scenery in other countries. Going abroad will make anyone see different landscapes, wildlife or even politics, on the other hand, if we stay in our nation we will just get more of the same. Often people fall into Xenophobia, we fear to receive refugees just because we can empathize with them, we cannot be in their shoes if we do not get to know them. Accordingly, I think that making a change in scenery can make us more empathetic towards other people.
In conclusion, for all of the points drawn above, I think that is considerably more important to travel to foreign countries than inside of our owns. Knowing other cultures can make us see the world with other eyes, and to look at people differently. Personal growth must be our most important goal.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 67, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'makes'?
Suggestion: makes
...se place, but the people who inhabit it make it even more diverse. Arguably, getting...
^^^^
Line 5, column 108, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'anyone' must be used with a third-person verb: 'sees'.
Suggestion: sees
...ountries. Going abroad will make anyone see different landscapes, wildlife or even ...
^^^
Line 7, column 20, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...rds other people. In conclusion, for all of the points drawn above, I think that is con...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, but, first, if, look, may, moreover, so, i think, in conclusion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 52.1666666667 63% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 8.0752688172 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1380.0 1977.66487455 70% => OK
No of words: 302.0 407.700716846 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.56953642384 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1687104957 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.48520908556 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 158.0 212.727598566 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.523178807947 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 433.8 618.680645161 70% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.6003584229 63% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.7515566384 48.9658058833 122% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.153846154 100.406767564 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.2307692308 20.6045352989 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.30769230769 5.45110844103 134% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.105137756113 0.236089414692 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0466224587801 0.076458572812 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0383849214948 0.0737576698707 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0802602963757 0.150856017488 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0339730090256 0.0645574589148 53% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 58.1214874552 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.52 10.9000537634 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.5 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 52.0 86.8835125448 60% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.