TPO-15 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans

Every one has their own preferred way in raising psychologically and financially healthy children, and all of them have their own strength and weaknesses. I strongly believe that children should be taught to manage their own money at young age, in order to become financially responsible adults. Someone can consciously weigh the pros and cons of each side. The explanations go as follows.

To begin with, managing money at young age stimulates them to construct a powerful personality which is able to appreciate and earn what they have. Children learn mostly when they are young with fresh brains, and everything they learn is stamped in their young minds till eternity. Eventually, becoming a financially responsible adult is the mission of parents. Therefor, the more they allow their kids to be open minded to manage confidently their own money, and build for them the feeling of being trusted in their actions, the more this will have an advantageous impact on them. As a parent, kids should not be given every thing unconditionally. A child who earns what he gets will take exceptional care of his belongings. However, if a mom gives in and buys all the toys that her baby demands, he will lose his rational ability to save his money and effort. As a result, his will have a dreadful consequence on the child's developing personality.

Another reason is that the child who is used to be independent and have his own self money would be able to make mistakes, and thus learn some managing lessons. The first time that a spoiled kid controls a big amount of cash he will probably spend it either on ice cream or on useless toys. But, each time the kid have the opportunity to posses money, he will master how and when to spend it. on the other hand, an older child would buy a gift for his mother, for example. Also, being financially responsible motivates them to always work hard in order to stabilize their financial level. This kind of stimulation is the most forceful in formulating a well-built responsible adult. Meanwhile, a child who manage their own money would be comfortable for frequently doing that, thus he would not be greedy or unsatisfied in his future days. With the reasoning, a young child having money and being able to be strongly responsible for spending it is the biggest accomplishment for the parents.

As a conclusion, a building block in a child's journey in life is teaching him to manage their own money at young age. This produces a strong generation who is able to face all the obstacles and be dependent on himself, and thus a better future for every one.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 415, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'minded managing'.
Suggestion: minded managing
...e more they allow their kids to be open minded to manage confidently their own money, and build ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, so, thus, well, while, for example, kind of, as a result, to begin with, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalization wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2158.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 450.0 407.700716846 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.79555555556 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6057793516 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76369764833 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.506666666667 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 661.5 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 9.0 3.08781362007 291% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.8147231771 48.9658058833 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.0909090909 100.406767564 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4545454545 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.5 5.45110844103 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.254832841313 0.236089414692 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0816240855009 0.076458572812 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0932828679459 0.0737576698707 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.182929264985 0.150856017488 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0648210375325 0.0645574589148 100% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 11.7677419355 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.56 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.86 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 86.8835125448 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 70 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.