The economy is advancing enormously these days, and finances are crucial in everyone’s lives. Now concerning the given statement, should children learn how to manage their own money at a young age in order to become responsible adults? Some people believe children should just worry about their homework, and focus just on school matters. However, I disagree with that and the reasons I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, children must learn responsibilities when they are young since it is difficult to change behaviours when they are already grown up. I will give an example that illustrates this very well. My cousin John has raised his children in a distinct way. Every time his son Brian and his daughter Mery helped with the chores of the house, they received in return three dollars. They used that payment to purchase toys or magazine of their interest. This experience has taught them the value of money. Nowadays, they are young adults and each of them found lucrative jobs, in which they earn a lot of money. Apart from that, they own a family business which is very successful in Temple City. Their finance knowledge, learned at a young age, have helped them to run their business successfully.
Moreover, California College has done a research about this subject, and it revealed that children who administrate their own money, will earn more money in the future. The study investigated two groups of children. On the one hand, the first group was raised with strict lessons about how meaningful money is and how they should use it wisely. On the other hand, the second group of children only was concentrated in doing the homework. As a result, after fifteen years, adults from the first group earned one million dollars more than the adults from the second group. This clearly shows how important is to teach our children to manage finances.
In conclusion, I believe finances should be taken more seriously since it rules the world. For that reason, people should major the subject, and the best way for that is to learn it at a young age.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 243, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a distinct way" with adverb for "distinct"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... My cousin John has raised his children in a distinct way. Every time his son Brian and his daugh...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 39, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'research'.
Suggestion: research
... Moreover, California College has done a research about this subject, and it revealed tha...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 199, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...for that is to learn it at a young age.
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, moreover, second, so, well, apart from, in conclusion, as a result, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 43.0788530466 100% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1735.0 1977.66487455 88% => OK
No of words: 355.0 407.700716846 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.88732394366 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34067318298 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51070155478 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.552112676056 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 522.0 618.680645161 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.3541205358 48.9658058833 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.619047619 100.406767564 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.9047619048 20.6045352989 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.71428571429 5.45110844103 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.287418235673 0.236089414692 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0804733175057 0.076458572812 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0829688661832 0.0737576698707 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.178427294116 0.150856017488 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0795792150532 0.0645574589148 123% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.1 11.7677419355 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.79 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.63 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.