TPO-20 - Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement?Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Without a doubt, taking the risk is considered one of the most important aspects in our lives. Many people can adopt their lives at our new dynamic world during taking the risk. I am sure that some people believe that taking the risk would be a great idea, while others would disagree. However, when it comes to me I totally agree that we have to take the risk as much as we can. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To begin with, taking the risk helps people to get access to endless supply of knowledge and entertainment. Recently, many students try to study new subjects to het new experience. Morover, these skills can help them to excel their future careers. My brother's experience is a compelling example of this. Last year, my brother was a medical student and he decided to take hard subject for his graduation project. In fact, his professor advised him to choose different topic to graduate with high scores, but my brother insisted on his opinion and he took the risk. Furthermore, he spent a lot of time to finish his paperwork. In addition, he had a tremendous effort to finish his assignment in a deep and meaningful fashion. So, he would able to gain experience and knowledge he never has it before. As a result, he graduated with ownership and he would able to get a valuable position in a multinational company following his gradation. On the other hand, if he did not take the risk and choose the hard topic, he would not be able to be hired in a famous company. As you can see, it is much easier to start the practicle life, if we took the risk specially in today's hectic society.

In addition, consulting others during taking the risk encourages people to build a great relationship with others. Nowadays, we can get in touch with people from different perspective and we can learn how we can deal with them. For instance, my brother when he took the risk when he was at the university he consulted many professors to help him. Besides, he got in touch with professor from different culture with different point of view. Furthermore, he had a conferance call with students from diffrent departments to provide him with new experience. Consequently, he learned how to communicate effectively in groups and these skill helped him to impress his interviewers with his tremendous communication skill. Moreover, he would able to build strong friendship with his teachers. However, many students who do not take the risk, they can not get skills that are necessary to work well in group study. Moreover, it is very hard for them to approach their future. This experience taught me that people can enhance their behaviorist through taking the risk.

In conclusion, I totally agree that we have to support people to take this risk. This is because taking the risk can he people to improve their knowledge, and because they can build strong bond with others people from different nature.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 625, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this skill' or 'these skills'?
Suggestion: this skill; these skills
...o communicate effectively in groups and these skill helped him to impress his interviewers ...
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, consequently, furthermore, however, if, moreover, so, well, while, for instance, i feel, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, as a result, to begin with, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 9.8082437276 184% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 79.0 43.0788530466 183% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 73.0 52.1666666667 140% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 8.0752688172 198% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2436.0 1977.66487455 123% => OK
No of words: 515.0 407.700716846 126% => OK
Chars per words: 4.73009708738 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.763781212 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65955913333 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 212.727598566 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.466019417476 0.524837075471 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 742.5 618.680645161 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 23.0 9.59856630824 240% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.6003584229 141% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 28.3503644227 48.9658058833 58% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 84.0 100.406767564 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.7586206897 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.37931034483 5.45110844103 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.164141404963 0.236089414692 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0536715588621 0.076458572812 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.041846618113 0.0737576698707 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125124837097 0.150856017488 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0267855242408 0.0645574589148 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.7 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 58.1214874552 122% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.86 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.7 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 86.8835125448 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.