Careers are essential in every adult's life; they could earn money and provide for their family. On the one hand, taking responsibilities seems critical for those who want to be hired and progress in their jobs. On the other hand, it is crucial that kids learn to take their obligations seriously. Thus, parents could help their teenage children prepare for adult life by encouraging them to take part-time jobs. Let me elaborate this with two reasons.
First, kids could find part-time jobs in their summer holidays. Therefore they could take obligations and earn some money meanwhile they're working. For instance, I have been playing guitar since I was a ten-year-old kid. Four years later, I thought about earning some money since I was very good at it. My parents gave me their blessing, and I began to prepare my room for teaching, and I printed some flyers to advertise my class. I was successful since I attracted three students and signed a contract with them. My students were varied in age; I even had a forty-year-old student. When my summer holidays passed, I had been taught my students the basics of playing classical guitar, and they were satisfied with the service I provided, and I earned a good deal of money for a 13-year-old kid. That experience taught me how to take responsibility and appreciate earning money.
Second, parents should encourage their kids in early ages to take part-time jobs. Otherwise it may be too late. For example, I have a cousin who is unemployed at the moment. He is whining about the financial crisis and biased society that wouldn't let many people to find jobs fair and square. He is partially right, but I think another reason for his unemployment is that his parents didn't encourage him to take part-time jobs in his childhood. Thus, now that he is a grown man, it might be a little difficult for him to work for low paid jobs, or any jobs for that matter. I remember my father told me that my grandfather had been sending him to work in construction sites every summer when he was just a kid. That helped him to become completely independent when he had just fourteen years old, and he earned enough amount of money in his 20's that he could easily settle and take a wife, while he had a good job and a house. That's why it is critical for kids to take responsibilities in their early ages.
To summarize, parents could and should encourage their kids and give them their blessing to take part-time jobs in order to prepare them for their future. It would give kids the advantage, and they could excel in their generation. If I ever had kids, I would do that for them too.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 32, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'adults'' or 'adult's'?
Suggestion: adults'; adult's
Careers are essential in every adults life; they could earn money and provide...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 65, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...art-time jobs in their summer holidays. Therefore they could take obligations and earn so...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 133, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: they're
...ligations and earn some money meanwhile theyre working. For instance, I have been play...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 83, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Otherwise,
...s in early ages to take part-time jobs. Otherwise it may be too late. For example, I have...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 240, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...inancial crisis and biased society that wouldnt let many people to find jobs fair and s...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 385, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...or his unemployment is that his parents didnt encourage him to take part-time jobs in...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 928, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: That's
...e, while he had a good job and a house. Thats why it is critical for kids to take res...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, may, second, so, therefore, thus, while, for example, for instance, i think, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 84.0 43.0788530466 195% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2167.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 466.0 407.700716846 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.65021459227 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64618479453 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61054743501 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 212.727598566 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.478540772532 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 658.8 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 8.0 1.86738351254 428% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.436818087 48.9658058833 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.3461538462 100.406767564 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.9230769231 20.6045352989 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.23076923077 5.45110844103 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.252720446033 0.236089414692 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0810564899314 0.076458572812 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0925322448935 0.0737576698707 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.190622891522 0.150856017488 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0775828170845 0.0645574589148 120% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.4 11.7677419355 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 58.1214874552 122% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.39 10.9000537634 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.29 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 86.8835125448 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.