TPO-26 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parents’ jobs than to choose jobs that are very different from their parents’ job.Use specific r

Clearly, job is a familiar and important part in our life on a daily basis. Adults spend a considerable amount of thier time on working. Some people believe that it is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parents'jobs than to choose jobs that are very different from their parents' job. Whereas others disagree. I have to agree with the latter group for two important reasons, which are elaborated in the following paragraphs.
First, children should choose jobs, in which they are made for it. People have various tallents; Some may like to work as a teacher, some other might be interested in being an engineer. Above all, in this case it is possible that childrend and parents have various tallents too. For example, as for me, both of my parents are employees. They are fond of their works. On the other hand, I hate being an employees at a office or company. Even if the salary of the possition was the maximum amount among all of jobs I hate it. I like to teach. Sometimes I think I am made for teaching and nothing else. As is clear, People should choose thier jobs based on their tallent not based on their parents' jobs.
Second, children should choose their jobs base on their interest. People have vast variety of interests. Even childrens and their parents have different interests specially about their jobs that they like to choose in the future. This various would be clear if we appreciate the difference jobs that our father and our mother like us to choose. As a case in point, when I was a child, my father would like me to be a doctor. But my mother wanted me to be a engineer. I choose my job based on my interest and some consultation with other people who had that job. Finally, I choose to be a teacher as I mentioned it befor. As you can see, chooseing a job based on your interest would be a good decision.
To sum up, although some people believe that it is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parents'jobs than to choose jobs that are very different from their parents' job, I disagree with the idea. Not only do children choose their jobs based on their tallent but they also choose them based on their interests. Parents should let their childeren to choose their jobs by themself.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 310, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... very different from their parents job. Whereas others disagree. I have to agree with t...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 399, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'an employee' or simply 'employees'?
Suggestion: an employee; employees
... works. On the other hand, I hate being an employees at a office or company. Even if the sal...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 415, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ther hand, I hate being an employees at a office or company. Even if the salary o...
^
Line 2, column 436, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[2]
Message: “Even if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ng an employees at a office or company. Even if the salary of the possition was the max...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 455, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...a doctor. But my mother wanted me to be a engineer. I choose my job based on my i...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, may, second, so, whereas, as for, for example, i think, to sum up, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 65.0 43.0788530466 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1850.0 1977.66487455 94% => OK
No of words: 409.0 407.700716846 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.52322738386 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49708221141 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.39407380037 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 212.727598566 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.432762836186 0.524837075471 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 569.7 618.680645161 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.1228506353 48.9658058833 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 68.5185185185 100.406767564 68% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.1481481481 20.6045352989 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.25925925926 5.45110844103 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.495379296304 0.236089414692 210% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.144614741728 0.076458572812 189% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.168371079611 0.0737576698707 228% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.380927841247 0.150856017488 253% => Maybe some contents are duplicated.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.141703518779 0.0645574589148 219% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.4 11.7677419355 63% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 73.17 58.1214874552 126% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.8 10.1575268817 67% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.34 10.9000537634 77% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.7 8.01818996416 84% => OK
difficult_words: 60.0 86.8835125448 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.