TPO-28 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents today are more involved in their children’s education than were parents in the past.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Education process improved tremendously in the last few decades. Indeed parents nowadays became more involved in the education process of their kids than before. In my opinion, their involvement is very important for many reasons

First of all, without parents help and effort, intellectual and communication skills of young children would be improved. Children usually spend from five to seven hours at school every day, which is not quite enough to develop skills like this. On the other hand, children spend the rest of the days out of school or at home. My experience with my daughter is a compelling example to demonstrate my opinion. My daughter is six years old, and she is going to kindergarten five hours a day, five days a week. Her grades in the first semester were below average, and her teacher told us that she has intellectual problems, and she does not know how to communicate with other kids in the class. Furthermore, she advised us to spend more time at home and explained how to overcome these issues as soon as possible. Me and my wife start to recognize our role towards our daughter, and we put a plane to spend about seven hours each day doing different types of activity like reading books, playing game, having a discussion and helping her to finish her homework. As a result, and in a few months, my daughter immensely improved, and she got high grades in the second semester. Unlike her cousin, who has intellectual problem, and he is not showing any improvement because his parents are too busy to spend time with him. AS you can see, without our help, my daughter would not be able to improve and get high scores.

Second, educational trend has changed worldwide to involve parents more in the education process than before. Parents could introduce and come up with new ideas to increase kid's knowledge, that is why most of schools holding monthly meeting to all parents. For instance, my daughter's school is holding two hours meeting every second Sunday of each month, in addition to flood of text messages and emails on daily base asking for any suggestion or ideas for kids, which never happened for me when I was in the same age. During last meeting, I suggested to take the kids in a trip to the nearest zoo in the area, where they can see all animals in their native environment, which would increase their knowledge. After they came back the kids were so amazed and impressed with what they had seen in the zoo for the first time. This experience taught me that it is very important to involve patents in the education process because they could come up with a new idea to expand kid's knowledge.

In sum, parents are more involved than before with their kids. Not only because they could help their kids to improve can their intellectual and communication skills, but also they come up with a new idea to increase kid’s knowledge.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 66, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Indeed,
...d tremendously in the last few decades. Indeed parents nowadays became more involved i...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 230, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ement is very important for many reasons First of all, without parents help and e...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 543, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'suggested taking'.
Suggestion: suggested taking
...in the same age. During last meeting, I suggested to take the kids in a trip to the nearest zoo i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, if, second, so, as for, as to, for instance, in addition, as a result, first of all, in my opinion, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 54.0 43.0788530466 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 74.0 52.1666666667 142% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2381.0 1977.66487455 120% => OK
No of words: 503.0 407.700716846 123% => OK
Chars per words: 4.73359840954 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73578520332 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52795632509 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 252.0 212.727598566 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.500994035785 0.524837075471 95% => OK
syllable_count: 733.5 618.680645161 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 8.0 1.86738351254 428% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.5512303683 48.9658058833 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.380952381 100.406767564 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.9523809524 20.6045352989 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.04761904762 5.45110844103 129% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.181346072522 0.236089414692 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0680007152821 0.076458572812 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0734181182823 0.0737576698707 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.141573850601 0.150856017488 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.04682411396 0.0645574589148 73% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 11.7677419355 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.45 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.67 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 86.8835125448 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.