TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

A prevalent phenomenon today is that to encourage they children to learn better at schools, parents offer their children money for each high grade they get. Some people think it is reasonable since this will give their children a big motivation. A considerable number of opponents, however, argue that this is a passive way in education and will make their children fall into bad habits. As far as I am concerned, the latter seems to align more with my personal perspective. There are several reasons to support my point of view. The following two will suffice here.

To begin with, many parents do so because they think this will encourage their children to do their best at school. However, this is a passive way that we should not be proud of. To study hard and get a grade as high as they can is school-age children's responsibility, that is, they should try they best to do so even there is no reward promised. If parents could not figure this out, then their children will not be able to distinguish their responsibility from benefits. In the future, whenever other tasks come in, children may ask their parents for money to perform well, even though it is their own responsibility. What's more, I think these kinds of ways of education are the result of the lack of responsibility of their parents, too. That is, parents could not take their responsibility to motivate their children to study for their own sake and try to "buy" a good grade.

For another, the driven power behind study should be the desire to explore the nature instead of money. Luring their children to get a good grade with money is a very passive way. Does it means that once the child is not satisfied with the money he get, then he could quit study? The answer is definitely no. What parents should really do is to help their children to find their own interests and arouse their self-motivation to explore the unknown. Self-motivation rather than money is the endless fuel that power one's exploration of the world.

Admittedly, a minority of people think that as long as their purpose, a good grade, is achieved, then they are satisfied no matter what method they use. However, let recall those scientists who change our world with their curiosity about the nature and endless exploration. They do not expect money or any other reward for their work. They are satisfied with what they are doing. And that is why they become the giants that we admire. On the contrary, we never see there is someone get a Nobel Price for his chasing for money. I think this has been illustrated pretty clear.

For the reasons mentioned above, I do not agree parents to give their children money for every good grade they get, which should be consider as their responsibility.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 74, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to better', 'to well'
Suggestion: to better; to well
...hat to encourage they children to learn better at schools, parents offer their childre...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 230, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[2]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'be'
Suggestion: be
...ard and get a grade as high as they can is school-age childrens responsibility, th...
^^
Line 3, column 621, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
... though it is their own responsibility. Whats more, I think these kinds of ways of ed...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 126, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... instead of money. Luring their children to get a good grade with money is a very...
^^
Line 5, column 190, Rule ID: DOES_NP_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'mean'?
Suggestion: mean
...th money is a very passive way. Does it means that once the child is not satisfied wi...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 190, Rule ID: DOES_X_HAS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'mean'? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
Suggestion: mean
...th money is a very passive way. Does it means that once the child is not satisfied wi...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 251, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'gets'.
Suggestion: gets
...hild is not satisfied with the money he get, then he could quit study? The answer i...
^^^
Line 7, column 489, Rule ID: PRICE_PRIZE[3]
Message: Did you mean 'Nobel Prize' (reward)?
Suggestion: Nobel Prize
...ry, we never see there is someone get a Nobel Price for his chasing for money. I think this...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 133, Rule ID: SHOULD_BE_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'considered'?
Suggestion: considered
...ry good grade they get, which should be consider as their responsibility.
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, may, really, so, then, well, i think, on the contrary, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 15.1003584229 179% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 69.0 43.0788530466 160% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2279.0 1977.66487455 115% => OK
No of words: 481.0 407.700716846 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.73804573805 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68313059816 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63436390523 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.474012474012 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 696.6 618.680645161 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 9.0 3.08781362007 291% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.9108401075 48.9658058833 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.4074074074 100.406767564 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.8148148148 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.0 5.45110844103 55% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 20.0 11.8709677419 168% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.388771010034 0.236089414692 165% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.109074331723 0.076458572812 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0821404049589 0.0737576698707 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.241706833637 0.150856017488 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0492285853388 0.0645574589148 76% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 11.7677419355 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 58.1214874552 122% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.92 10.9000537634 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.71 8.01818996416 84% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 86.8835125448 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.