TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In today's societies, the question of whether it is a good idea that parent offers money to their children whenever they can gain a high grade in their schools has become a controversial issue among people in many circles and camps. Different people have various types of responses to this topic based on their social, cultural, or even familial backgrounds. However, as far as I'm concerned, I believed that giving money to school-age children for each high score they attain is a good opinion for some reason that I elaborate them in the following paragraphs.

To begin with, the first thing comes to mind right off the bat is that money is a good motivation for students. People in this age have a lot of little desire that needs money to become a reality. The money that parent offered to their children is a good way of fulfilling children's dreams. Therefore, students study harder to obtain this money. As a result, their knowledge will increase significantly and they will have a more prosperous life in future. Let's make a brief explanation about that. I remember when I was in elementary school, my father suggested me if I get a great grade on my final exam, he would buy a beautiful bicycle for me. This entice encouraged me to study very well and varied my style of studying. Therefore, little money can make a big advantage.

Another noteworthy aspect that should be mentioned is that whenever parents give money to a child as a result of their affords, their children realize the value of the money. having an ability to manage your money is critical in today's world. Hence, parents can teach this crucial point to their children through offering some money for their excellent mark. Let me shed a light on my point. According to the researches that were published in a well-known journal, scientists determined that people who learn how to use their money from an early age have a stronger viewpoint in business in comparison to other children. Thus, suggesting money to students can improve their business's approaches.

In conclusion, there are a plenty of reasons to show that offering some money to children for their good score has numerous advantages. Not only it encourages students to study harder but also it teaches them some business skills. Consequently, it is imperative that parent dedicates this money to improve their children.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 22, Rule ID: WHETHER[3]
Message: Wordiness: Shorten this phrase to the shortest possible suggestion.
Suggestion: whether; the question whether
In todays societies, the question of whether it is a good idea that parent offers mo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 378, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: I'm
...amilial backgrounds. However, as far as Im concerned, I believed that giving money...
^^
Line 3, column 446, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...d they will have a more prosperous life in future. Lets make a brief explanation about th...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 457, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
... have a more prosperous life in future. Lets make a brief explanation about that. I ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 176, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Having
...hildren realize the value of the money. having an ability to manage your money is crit...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, hence, however, if, so, therefore, thus, well, in conclusion, as a result, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1963.0 1977.66487455 99% => OK
No of words: 402.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.88308457711 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47771567384 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68325413005 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.542288557214 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 611.1 618.680645161 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.3986458724 48.9658058833 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.4761904762 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1428571429 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.71428571429 5.45110844103 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.36374061421 0.236089414692 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.106100430788 0.076458572812 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0872682150429 0.0737576698707 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.245540987598 0.150856017488 163% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0557535524138 0.0645574589148 86% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 11.7677419355 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.02 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.15 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.