TPO-44 - Independent Writing Task Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing th

Parenting these days is a very challenging task. Due to less time available for parents to pass with their children nowadays making time for play with kids is crucial.I think spending time with kids to play is more important than helping them to do their school work.
Firstly, I beleive kid's job is studing and parents are not their school helper.Thus it's their responsibility.If parents help their childeren in their school work they do not learn to be independent and their concentration on studing due to their dependency decreases.For example, my sister was very dependent in school and it made lots of problem for her after graduation from primary school. In fact she did not know how to do her job by her own and had a very difficult time in high school and university.
In addition, kids need to be played with their parents and without playing their characteristic and abilities can not grow properly and they learn a lot from playing .For instance, when parents play with their children, they feel and underestand the roles and they can use these new learning to their real life . I remember by playing with my son he learned the superior and inferior position and winner and looser place by his own feeling and his imagination by playing grew very well .
In conclusion, playing with kids has a very crucial role in their mental developement and parent have to pay more attention to their needs by making time to play with them.However helping in childeren school work is not the parent job and they are not their teachers.Kids have to be on their own feet and independent to be more successful in the future.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 169, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: I
...king time for play with kids is crucial.I think spending time with kids to play ...
^
Line 1, column 176, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...me for play with kids is crucial.I think spending time with kids to play is more ...
^^
Line 2, column 79, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Thus
...and parents are not their school helper.Thus its their responsibility.If parents hel...
^^^^
Line 2, column 79, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...and parents are not their school helper.Thus its their responsibility.If parents hel...
^^^^
Line 2, column 84, Rule ID: IT_IS[17]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...arents are not their school helper.Thus its their responsibility.If parents help th...
^^^
Line 2, column 109, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
...ol helper.Thus its their responsibility.If parents help their childeren in their s...
^^
Line 2, column 267, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...uding due to their dependency decreases.For example, my sister was very dependent i...
^^^
Line 2, column 331, Rule ID: LOTS_OF_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: 'lots of problems'.
Suggestion: lots of problems
...as very dependent in school and it made lots of problem for her after graduation from primary s...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 166, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...operly and they learn a lot from playing .For instance, when parents play with the...
^^
Line 3, column 167, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...erly and they learn a lot from playing .For instance, when parents play with their ...
^^^
Line 3, column 310, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...se these new learning to their real life . I remember by playing with my son he le...
^^
Line 3, column 485, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...is imagination by playing grew very well . In conclusion, playing with kids has a...
^^
Line 4, column 172, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
... needs by making time to play with them.However helping in childeren school work is not...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 172, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
... needs by making time to play with them.However helping in childeren school work is not...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 267, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Kids
...ent job and they are not their teachers.Kids have to be on their own feet and indepe...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, however, if, so, thus, well, for example, for instance, i think, in addition, in conclusion, in fact

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 1.0 11.0286738351 9% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 39.0 43.0788530466 91% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1340.0 1977.66487455 68% => OK
No of words: 282.0 407.700716846 69% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.75177304965 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09790868904 4.48103885553 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72957056061 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 140.0 212.727598566 66% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.496453900709 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 390.6 618.680645161 63% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 7.0 20.6003584229 34% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 40.0 20.1344086022 199% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 118.281400888 48.9658058833 242% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 191.428571429 100.406767564 191% => OK
Words per sentence: 40.2857142857 20.6045352989 196% => OK
Discourse Markers: 16.5714285714 5.45110844103 304% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 15.0 5.5376344086 271% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.263689615834 0.236089414692 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.133625231236 0.076458572812 175% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0750766188251 0.0737576698707 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.187727390783 0.150856017488 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0573004273366 0.0645574589148 89% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 21.1 11.7677419355 179% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.8 58.1214874552 82% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.5 10.1575268817 162% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.16 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.36 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 49.0 86.8835125448 56% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 10.002688172 190% => OK
gunning_fog: 18.0 10.0537634409 179% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.