TPO-46 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and exam

Both the passage and the listening material are concentrating on whether the electronic databases is better than the traditional paper=based recording keeping. The reading material offers three advantages to support its appoints, however, according to the speaker, all these are not certain.

To begin with, the reading points out that using electronic records can save a lot of money and it doesn't need any space to store. But the professor has a different view. She then argues that this method cannot save money as much as the reading suggests. Due to some legal, though doctors may have made elcetronic records, they have to use paper to record these databases, Thus, it cannot save too much money.

Then, according to the reading, it can reduce the chances of medical errors without improper transcription of data. On the contrary, this is also disagreed by the speaker. In fact, most doctors still use pens to take notes by hands, and then others doctors will translate these records to electronic databases. It means that if there are wrong handwriting, it is possible that these doctors who translate paper records to electronic ones also cannot detect them well. In the end, even they use the electronic databases, the errors also exist.

Moreover, when considering the possibility of aiding research which is supported by the writing material, the speaker also asserts that it is also difficult to deal with. As we all know, people have the private right. So it is impossible for doctors to draw out the information they need if they are not allowed by their patients.

Votes
Average: 0.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 100, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... records can save a lot of money and it doesnt need any space to store. But the profes...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, moreover, so, still, then, thus, well, in fact, on the contrary, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 13.8261648746 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 43.0788530466 63% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 52.1666666667 59% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1327.0 1977.66487455 67% => OK
No of words: 263.0 407.700716846 65% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.04562737643 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.02706775958 4.48103885553 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63060720403 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 154.0 212.727598566 72% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.585551330798 0.524837075471 112% => OK
syllable_count: 408.6 618.680645161 66% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.9779250408 48.9658058833 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.7857142857 100.406767564 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7857142857 20.6045352989 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.64285714286 5.45110844103 140% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 11.8709677419 25% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0509496636421 0.236089414692 22% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0196119733115 0.076458572812 26% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0189118260303 0.0737576698707 26% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0339811639332 0.150856017488 23% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0254858124731 0.0645574589148 39% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 11.7677419355 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.01 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.31 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 86.8835125448 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

More content wanted.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.