TPO 54 Writing Independent
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It is critically important that people can participate in an activity they like outside their regular life. Personally, I believe government should not invest more on the arts than the sports. I feel this for two reasons which I will explain in the following essay.
To begin with, a lot sports are simple and easy to participate in, which will keep people healthy. If government does not support sport, people may overlook their health condition and thus have a bad body. In addition,doing exercise could assist people to have a clear mind which is also vital to the mental health. My personal experience is a compelling illustration. Around five years ago, my brother along with me would spend all days studying and not have any exercise. Because we did not have enough exercise and outdoor activity, we both became feeble compare to our peers. Luckily, there was a program funded by our government to encourage students to do all kinds of sports. Despite being unskilled, we gradually gained confidence in the field and and even won some matches . As a result, we become much healthier and developed a huge enthusiasm for sports.
Furthermore, investing on sport could also create job opportunities which are beneficial to our economy. As government puts more money into sports, more people will become interested in the athletic event and participate in some specific field. People may even find their business partner when engaging in some sports . For instance, I am an enthusiastic about volleyball, and I met a lot friends who share the same passion with me. Since we all know this sport, we started a volleyball specific website at school. As the website became progressively popular at our community, we started to put advertisement on the website and turned it into profit. Moreover, some of us even received lot job offers from local newspaper office. Surprisingly, one of them even turned out becoming a real sport journalist Based on this experience, I strongly believe that when sport are being invested, more work possibility will also increase.
In conclusion, I strongly feel that more endowment should be put into sport than art. This is because sport is good for people's well-being when participating, and could increase the employment possibility that will benefit the society.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 218, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , doing
...on and thus have a bad body. In addition,doing exercise could assist people to have a ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 753, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: and
...radually gained confidence in the field and and even won some matches . As a result, we...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 782, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... the field and and even won some matches . As a result, we become much healthier a...
^^
Line 3, column 843, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...come much healthier and developed a huge enthusiasm for sports. Furthermore, i...
^^
Line 5, column 318, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ess partner when engaging in some sports . For instance, I am an enthusiastic abou...
^^
Line 5, column 805, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ned out becoming a real sport journalist Based on this experience, I strongly bel...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, furthermore, if, look, may, moreover, so, thus, well, for instance, i feel, in addition, in conclusion, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 43.0788530466 88% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1929.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 379.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.08970976253 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41224685777 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83108797836 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.580474934037 0.524837075471 111% => OK
syllable_count: 604.8 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.5014902766 48.9658058833 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.6818181818 100.406767564 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.2272727273 20.6045352989 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.18181818182 5.45110844103 113% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.107073531837 0.236089414692 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.033331152508 0.076458572812 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0461358192167 0.0737576698707 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0730811751156 0.150856017488 48% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0219074870008 0.0645574589148 34% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 11.7677419355 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.23 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.