integrated TOEFL writing

Essay topics:

integrated TOEFL writing

The transparent front part of the human eye is called corneal, this part of the human body is so sensitive and it can easily be injured. If cornea injury occurred, it can cause permanent problem to our vision. Therefore, we have to be very careful about our corneal. Some of the most apparent causes of corneal injuries are hitting our eyes with ball or dashboard of the car in an accident. Sometimes flying debris of table saw or dust in our eye when we rubbed them,also some dangerous chemicals can cause cornea problems. A corneal injury can lead to an ulcer, some of the main causes of corneal ulcer are: chronic dryness of eyes, infections by some bacteria, viruses or fungus. Moreover, although it is rare nutritional deficiency sometimes is a factor that lead to this malady.

Some consequence of this injury includes eye pain, sensitivity to light, blood spot eyes, star tissue and inflammation. The term keratitis is used to describe a corneal inflammation, which is probable to occur when wearing hard contact lenses too long or in case our eyes have been, overexpose to ultraviolet light, for instance by welding arch or sun. There are some treatments that a doctor will tell us to do in this case as using antibiotics, ointment or drops, artificial tear or wearing an eye patch.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Comments

flaws:
Not on the correct format.

The correct pattern:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3

Don't need to reiterate the contents of reading passages a lot but put more content from the lecture.

Don't need a conclusion paragraph.

Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster

----------------------------------------

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 12
No. of Words: 224 250
No. of Characters: 1040 1200
No. of Different Words: 135 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.869 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.643 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.559 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 71 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 52 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.417 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.393 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.5 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.138 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 2 4