integrated writing toefl, TPO 25
the passage expressed that the ancient people did not use that vessel as electric batteries in ancient time while the archaeologists proposed that vessels were ancient electric batteries. according to the lecture, this statement is not exactly true. in the ancient time there was not wire but other material was existed that the ancient people could use those for creating electricity. the copper cylinders inside the jars look exactly like copper cylinders, we suppose the ancient people used copper structures for producing electricity since the cylinders found with the jars have the same shape, it is very likely they were used for holding scrolls as well. the battery have very visible power and there is possibility for ancient people that use the battery for shocking, I mean they could use it for healing some disease as it is using by the present doctors for healing inactive muscles.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
the passage expressed that the ancient peop...
^^^
Line 1, column 189, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: According
...essels were ancient electric batteries. according to the lecture, this statement is not e...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 251, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: In
...re, this statement is not exactly true. in the ancient time there was not wire but...
^^
Line 1, column 387, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...uld use those for creating electricity. the copper cylinders inside the jars look e...
^^^
Line 1, column 663, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...were used for holding scrolls as well. the battery have very visible power and the...
^^^
Line 1, column 675, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'has'.
Suggestion: has
...r holding scrolls as well. the battery have very visible power and there is possibi...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, look, so, well, while, i mean
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 10.4613686534 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 5.04856512141 40% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 7.30242825607 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 12.0772626932 41% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 22.412803532 62% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 30.3222958057 26% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 1.0 5.01324503311 20% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 750.0 1373.03311258 55% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 147.0 270.72406181 54% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10204081633 5.08290768461 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.48200454523 4.04702891845 86% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46474517202 2.5805825403 96% => OK
Unique words: 84.0 145.348785872 58% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.571428571429 0.540411800872 106% => OK
syllable_count: 241.2 419.366225166 58% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 3.25607064018 123% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.23620309051 36% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 5.0 13.0662251656 38% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 21.2450331126 137% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 74.4993959707 49.2860985944 151% => OK
Chars per sentence: 150.0 110.228320801 136% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.4 21.698381199 135% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.8 7.06452816374 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 1.0 4.09492273731 24% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 6.0 4.19205298013 143% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 4.33554083885 46% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 4.45695364238 45% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.27373068433 23% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.479721772631 0.272083759551 176% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.229073602519 0.0996497079465 230% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.165542533886 0.0662205650399 250% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.479721772631 0.162205337803 296% => Maybe some contents are duplicated.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0443174109184 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.3 13.3589403974 130% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 53.8541721854 78% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 11.0289183223 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.89 12.2367328918 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.42419426049 100% => OK
difficult_words: 31.0 63.6247240618 49% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.7273730684 126% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 10.498013245 130% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.2008830022 125% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Minimum four paragraphs wanted. The correct pattern:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3
Less contents wanted from the reading passages(25%), more content wanted from the lecture (75%).
Don't need a conclusion paragraph.
Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster
More content wanted.
Minimum 150 words wanted.
Rates: 40.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 12.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.