Integrated writing TPO 51

The passage expresses three believes about elephants, though the lecturer disagrees with them mostly because she believes some points are being misunderstood.

Firstly, the passage states that elephants tend to move away from their herds as they reach a certain age near their death. It argues that they usually go off near locations with water nearby to die alone. Yet the lecture claims that the real reason for this migration is that their teeth start to get weak which will result in disabling them to chew hard materials. Therefore they graze in a location near water to find softer vegetables to survive.

Secondly, the passage believes elephants have an astonishing ability to paint. Specially object they are familiar with. Although the lecturer states that they are only able to draw what they have been trained for. This is supported by the fact that elephants tend to react to strokes near their ear. So when their trainer teaches them by giving certain brush strokes.

At Last, the lecturer supports the fact that elephants are not frightened facing a mice. The reason for their odd reaction against mice is because they are not familiar with this creatures and the assume they may pose a threat for their safety. The evidence for this statement is that elephants which live in a zoo or any environment where there is a chance they know mice cannot harm them, Do not react the same way.

To conclude, the lecture tried to correct the mistakes the passage made while describing multiple facts about elephants.

Votes
Average: 9 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Number of Paragraphs: 5 4
better to have 4 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 12
No. of Words: 257 250
No. of Characters: 1240 1200
No. of Different Words: 149 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.004 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.825 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.293 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 62 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.357 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.354 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.583 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4