At a sale at a private home in California several years ago, a man purchased a box of photographic negatives stored in envelopes (negatives are photographic images on film or glass from which actual photographs can be made). The negatives dated from the 1920s and showed landscape scenes of the western United States. While the negatives carried no indication of the name of the photographer who created them, some people have concluded that the negatives were in fact made by the landscape photographer Ansel Adams, one of the greatest American photographers of the twentieth century. Several arguments have been offered in support of this idea.
First, the negatives include images of landscape features that Ansel Adams is known to have photographed. One of the negatives shows a large pine tree leaning downward on a cliff. The same distinctively shaped tree appears in another photograph that, without a doubt, was taken by Adams in the 1920s.
Second, the envelopes holding the negatives are numbered and marked with handwritten place names. The handwriting on the envelopes seems to resemble the handwriting of Virginia Adams, Ansel Adam's wife. Virginia Adams is known to have assisted her husband in his work, so those who believe that Ansel Adams created these negatives have concluded that she helped her husband organize these negatives by numbering them and recording the names of the places where the images were created.
Third, a number of the negatives have been damaged by fire. It is well known that Ansel Adams' photography studio had a fire that destroyed or damaged nearly a third of his negatives. The fact that some of the negatives bought at the sale have fire damage is consistent with the idea that they once belonged to Ansel Adams.
The negatives that display the western United States are believed to be made by a famous landscape photographer, Ansel Adams, while the lecturer in the conversation calls this assumption into question with evidence. First of all, as the writer of the passage states that the scenery features match the photos that Ansel Adams took, the professor rebuts that the scenery in the western US can be very similar. The leaning pine tree is in fact, a landmark of a famous local park, which receives the most visits. Secondly, while the article points out that the handwriting on the envelopes holding the negatives resembles Ansel Adam's wife writing, who is believed to assist her husband's work, the speaker opposes the statement and illustrates that the place names on the envelopes are incorrectly spelled and it is hardly possible for a person who lived in the area since her childhood to do that. Finally, the passage claims that some of the negatives are destroyed by fire, which is consistent with the fire that damaged Adam's studio along with several negatives of him. But the lecturer refutes that since flammable chemicals are often used in photographers' studios, fires are not unusual. A great number of photographers' negatives were damaged by fires back then.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 929, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... that. Finally, the passage claims that some of the negatives are destroyed by fire, which ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, if, second, secondly, so, then, while, in fact, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 10.4613686534 115% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 5.04856512141 20% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 7.30242825607 41% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 12.0772626932 116% => OK
Pronoun: 16.0 22.412803532 71% => OK
Preposition: 26.0 30.3222958057 86% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 5.01324503311 100% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1055.0 1373.03311258 77% => OK
No of words: 210.0 270.72406181 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.02380952381 5.08290768461 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.80675409584 4.04702891845 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61031010052 2.5805825403 101% => OK
Unique words: 124.0 145.348785872 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.590476190476 0.540411800872 109% => OK
syllable_count: 338.4 419.366225166 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 3.25607064018 0% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.23620309051 85% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 1.25165562914 240% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 2.5761589404 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 7.0 13.0662251656 54% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 21.2450331126 141% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 95.8998201782 49.2860985944 195% => OK
Chars per sentence: 150.714285714 110.228320801 137% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.0 21.698381199 138% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.5714285714 7.06452816374 164% => OK
Paragraphs: 1.0 4.09492273731 24% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 4.19205298013 24% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 4.33554083885 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 4.45695364238 22% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.27373068433 70% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.180299962769 0.272083759551 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0813382206919 0.0996497079465 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0499264625858 0.0662205650399 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.180299962769 0.162205337803 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0443174109184 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.2 13.3589403974 129% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.03 53.8541721854 76% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 11.0289183223 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.43 12.2367328918 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.26 8.42419426049 110% => OK
difficult_words: 55.0 63.6247240618 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.7273730684 131% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 10.498013245 133% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.2008830022 125% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Minimum four paragraphs wanted. The correct pattern:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3
Less contents wanted from the reading passages(25%), more content wanted from the lecture (75%).
Don't need a conclusion paragraph.
Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.