TPO-24 - Integrated Writing Task Animal fossils usually provide very little opportunity to study the actual animal tissues, because in fossils the animals' living tissues have been largely replaced by minerals. Thus, scientists were very excited recently

The main idea of both the passage and the lecture is about the actual animal tissues. In this line of thought, the reading states that the actual animal tissues can find with the breaking of the fossils leg bone, the presence of spheres of red blood cells, and remaining collagen on the fossils. The lecturer, on the other hand, casts doubt on all of the three episodes of arguments mentioned in the passage, believing that none of these strategies are practical and lead to the real world. In the rest of the passage, a comparison between them is provided.

First of all, the reading and the listening materials talk about the breaking of the fossils leg bone. The author explains that the breaking of the fossilized leg bone revealed many small branching channels inside, which probably correspond to hollows in the bones where blood vessels were once located. The exciting finding was the presence of a soft, flexible organic substance inside the channels. Thus, the author contends that this soft substance may very well represent the remains of the actual blood vessels of T. rex. On the contrary, the lecturer believes that when one organism dead bacteria colonized in the hollow and it’s difficult to trace material from the blood vessels. This directly contradicts what the passage indicates.

Second, both the text and the talk discuss the presence of spheres of red blood cells. The author points out that a microscopic examination of the various parts of the inner bone revealed the presence of spheres that could be the remains of red blood cells. Tests showed that the spheres contained iron-a material vital to the role of red blood cells in transporting oxygen to tissues. Moreover, the author elaborates that the spheres had dark red centers (substances with iron tend to be reddish in color) and were also about the size of red blood cells. However, the lecture notes that the Scientific find some reddish spheres which don’t pertain the T-rex in the same places. The spheres probably have a very different origin. They are probably just pieces of reddish mineral. This was another place where experience contradicted the theory.

Eventually, remaining collagen on the fossils which is discussed by both the passage and the lecture. The author mentions that scientists performed a test on the dinosaur leg bone that showed that it contained collagen. Collagen is a fibrous protein that is the main component of living bone tissue, in which it forms a so-called collagen matrix. Hence, the author suggests that Collagen (or its chemical derivatives) is exactly the kind of biochemical material that one would expect to find in association with bone tissue. The lecturer rebuts this argument. The lecturer states that collagen cannot live last long, and this founded is improbable. Maybe this collagen comes from the human skin. This opinion directly contradicts the passage presented and making it infeasible.

Sum up, although the passage provides some reasons for the actual animal tissues, the lecture opposes about the effectiveness and possibility of those reasons.

Average: 7.1 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 345, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...urer, on the other hand, casts doubt on all of the three episodes of arguments mentioned i...
Line 5, column 489, Rule ID: ADJECTIVE_IN_ATTRIBUTE[1]
Message: A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
Suggestion: reddish
...centers substances with iron tend to be reddish in color and were also about the size of red blo...

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, may, moreover, second, so, thus, well, kind of, first of all, on the contrary, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 10.4613686534 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 5.04856512141 99% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 7.30242825607 164% => OK
Relative clauses : 24.0 12.0772626932 199% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 22.412803532 152% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 30.3222958057 214% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 10.0 5.01324503311 199% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2600.0 1373.03311258 189% => OK
No of words: 507.0 270.72406181 187% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.12820512821 5.08290768461 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74517233601 4.04702891845 117% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53287769624 2.5805825403 98% => OK
Unique words: 244.0 145.348785872 168% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.481262327416 0.540411800872 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 790.2 419.366225166 188% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 3.25607064018 123% => OK
Article: 19.0 8.23620309051 231% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.51434878587 132% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 2.5761589404 194% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 13.0662251656 207% => Too many sentences.
Sentence length: 18.0 21.2450331126 85% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.7428764082 49.2860985944 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.2962962963 110.228320801 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7777777778 21.698381199 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.96296296296 7.06452816374 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.09492273731 122% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 4.19205298013 48% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 4.33554083885 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 4.45695364238 135% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 18.0 4.27373068433 421% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.650043110365 0.272083759551 239% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.150318594443 0.0996497079465 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.123093211035 0.0662205650399 186% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.306227003989 0.162205337803 189% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.144677451091 0.0443174109184 326% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 13.3589403974 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 53.8541721854 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 11.0289183223 93% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 12.2367328918 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.42 8.42419426049 100% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 63.6247240618 196% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.7273730684 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.498013245 88% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.2008830022 116% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.