TPO-42 - Integrated Writing Task

The reading and the lecture are both about the glass windows that affect birds and cause injuries. The author of the reading provides three solutions to project birds due to glass windows. The lecturer casts doubts on the claims made in the article. He believes that those solutions are not effective and it is not going to stop the bird getting injured.

First of all, the author points out that the glasses could be made as one-way transparent which could be seen through from inside of the building. It is mentioned that the people inside the structure can be able to see through the window where the birds cannot see it from outside. This point was challenged by the lecturer. He says that the birds that fly outside would still see the glass as a mirror. In that case, a mirror would reflect the sky, trees, and the possibilities are that bird could consider that as actual sky and trees. In that case, the one-sided mirror will be as bad as a regular mirror.

Secondly, the article mentions that the window could be painted with colorful lines or designs. Such as a window that design with some empty spaces. Hence the people inside the building still could see through it with the spaces that are not covered by designs. The lecturer rebuts this argument. He suggests that the unpainted open hole still will be big enough for birds to perceive as an object and still fly through it. If the openings are made extremely small, then it will be too ask inside.

Finally, the article states that they could use an artificial electromagnetic field system around the building which would steer birds away from any object on their way. The author establishes that the birds are innate ability to detect electromagnetic wave and it could prevent birds flying through the glass while flying in the right direction. The lecturer, on the other hand, posits that the birds only use the electromagnetic system only for long distance such as migrating from colder place to warmer place. Moreover, for short trips, birds only use eyes and brightness for navigation but not electromagnetic field.

Votes
Average: 6.8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 190, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... to project birds due to glass windows. The lecturer casts doubts on the claims mad...
^^^
Line 5, column 150, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...dow that design with some empty spaces. Hence the people inside the building still co...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 483, Rule ID: TOO_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'to ask'?
Suggestion: to ask
...e made extremely small, then it will be too ask inside. Finally, the article states...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 623, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...vigation but not electromagnetic field.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, hence, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, then, while, such as, first of all, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 10.4613686534 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 5.04856512141 297% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 10.0 7.30242825607 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 12.0772626932 166% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 22.412803532 143% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 39.0 30.3222958057 129% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 5.01324503311 80% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1737.0 1373.03311258 127% => OK
No of words: 361.0 270.72406181 133% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81163434903 5.08290768461 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35889894354 4.04702891845 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42183852303 2.5805825403 94% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 145.348785872 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.495844875346 0.540411800872 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 512.1 419.366225166 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.55342163355 90% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 3.25607064018 154% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.23620309051 134% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 2.5761589404 116% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 13.0662251656 153% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 21.2450331126 85% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.122499924 49.2860985944 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.85 110.228320801 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.05 21.698381199 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.2 7.06452816374 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 4.19205298013 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 4.33554083885 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 4.45695364238 135% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.27373068433 234% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.493240991821 0.272083759551 181% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.133602040216 0.0996497079465 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0859893607583 0.0662205650399 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.275294273738 0.162205337803 170% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0443199793656 0.0443174109184 100% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.3 13.3589403974 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 53.8541721854 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 11.0289183223 72% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.32 12.2367328918 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.46 8.42419426049 89% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 63.6247240618 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.7273730684 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.498013245 88% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.2008830022 71% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 20 minutes.

Rates: 68.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.