Artists masterpieces have made a huge contribution into our society through out the years. Some masterpieces have touched our soul and amazed us. Artists such Michelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci have made us wondered how perfect a masterpiece could be. However, from my opinion, scientists have made even more important contributions into our society than artists have done. Scientists have made our daily life more convenient with the development of new technologies. Scientists have also made a huge contribution in the medical field as well.
To begin with, I cannot deny that artists masterpieces have helped our society by touching our heart and have even made us laugh and even cry with their masterpieces. However, scientists work have played a huge work in our society. With the development of new technologies in communication, transportation, renewable source of energy and so on. For example, with the development of the mass mean of transportation such as aircraft, people are able to travel abroad more often and to get to know other side of the globe,expand their knowledge and open up their mind for other cultures and other ways of thinking.
Moreover, scientists have also made a huge contribution in the medical field. Not so long ago, people were dying due to simple bacterial infection, the "Black Death" had devastated a huge number of the people in Europe due to the bad sanitation condition at that time. People were misdiagnosed due to the lack of tools that enable doctors to check what was going on inside of people's organ. With the advancement of new technology in the medical field and the development of the new drugs such as antibiotics, vaccines and chemo drugs, people no longer die due to simple bacterial infections. Besides it, virus and microorganisms that once were fatal to human beings have been under scientists control or even eradicated. Diseases that once where misdiagnosed, nowadays could be prevented due to the advancement of high definition image diagnose such as MRN and CT scans.
In conclusion, artists have played an important role in our society by entertaining us and to make us realize that we all are human beings with feelings and soul. However, in my opinion, scientists work has a vital importance in our society by making our society living longer and healthier and by bringing people around the world closer to each other.
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flaws:
The second paragraph is like an introduction paragraph which is similar to the first paragraph. Better to put the topic sentence as the first sentence.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 395 350
No. of Characters: 1948 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.458 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.932 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.851 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.944 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.064 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.383 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.556 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.176 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5