Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible.Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time.Which better?

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Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible.Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time.Which better?

All we are living in the harsh world today and it is obviously challenging to live alone. Some young adults want to abandon their families; however some other parts try to keep living with them. There are two choices to discuss. However, ı definitely prefer and support the first option. For learning to deal with the problems alone, enjoying the freedom are the best reasons .I shall explain details for my stance in the following paragraphs.

We always think that our family is gonna be with us forever; actually we make ourselves believe this. Conversely, there are strict rules about life. People should get used to confronting the problems alone. If person stay with his or her family and wait for handling every problem by them, he or she can’t overcome this situation when staying alone. As a case in point, at first ,I resist to go to university alone and I was so scared on account of never being alone before. Nevertheless, after a while I started to learn how to cope with my problems.

Another important thing is that in many countries, the parents are so inconsiderate towards their children. Even they don’t let them go outside when the children resident with them. On the other hand, by the time these children start to study in another country like collage or university, their behaviors change and become softer comparing past. As a result ,leaving family is the best shot at this point.

Every young adult dreams about the new adventures. Leaving family is the turning point and it provides these youngs their freedom. If we look deep into it, they can get step in the real life only with this way. Of course family plays a really important role in their future but they must have fun while they are still young and lively also eager to try new things.

All in all, taking all these factors into consideration, life begins after leaving our big advisors, our families. It is undesirable maybe but the more we do it earlier, the more we let our fears go and enjoy the life.

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Average: 8 (4 votes)
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Sentence: For learning to deal with the problems alone, enjoying the freedom are the best reasons .I shall explain details for my stance in the following paragraphs.
Description: The fragment enjoying the freedom is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is

Sentence: We always think that our family is gonna be with us forever; actually we make ourselves believe this.
Description: A verb, present participle or gerund is not usually followed by a verb 'to be', infinitive or imperative
Suggestion: Refer to gonna and be

Sentence: On the other hand, by the time these children start to study in another country like collage or university, their behaviors change and become softer comparing past.
Error: collage Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.26 0.35

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 353 350
No. of Characters: 1595 1500
No. of Different Words: 210 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.335 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.518 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.282 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 100 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.81 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.919 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.619 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.26 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.488 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5