In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this. What solution can yo suggest?

Essay topics:

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this. What solution can yo suggest?

Childhood is time for children to play and get happiness. When childhood, children must get a lot of time to play because they will get many experiences and a lot of knowledge. With playing, it makes the development brain of the children. when children grow up to be young people, their brain just wants to play. Many young people can take one’s mine off and in some countries young people have little leisure time and under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies.

Young people need education for their future. For getting the best future, many people must work hard in their studies. Now, young people have to have good skill, experience, and many others to get better job. they must prepare to face it. If they do not have it, they will get difficulty to compete with others. Many companies search the best employee looking in the education applicant. If the young people apply for in the best company, they have to have the good education and skill. The good education is just got when in the young age, the young people have to work hard.

In some countries, studying system makes them get little leisure time and under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. Some countries, the system make young people have to study for 16 hours in the school. At home, the young people must make their homework. They just have time for study and not to have time to play. When they just study at school, it will make the young people are stuck and they have no others skill. Example, when at school, young people did not study about anything. They studied about formal education. If they just studied in the school, it will make them not to get non formal education like, dancing, sports, music and young people missing time to play. Playing is important because it makes them more creative because with the play, they will find many others. Playing is refreshing for young people when they work hard. When they are young, it is the time for them to get many things not just formal education.

I think, some countries have to give a lot of leisure time for the young people because they need time to play and do many thing. If they just study, it is not good for their brain development. They have to try many thing. Young people are under a lot of pleasure to work hard in their studies is not good for brain development because they can not under a lot of pleasure. Their brain do not get used to having a lot of pleasure because its time to grow up. If under a lot of pleasure, they can not be acceptable. It will harm to their future. The government in the some countries have to make a good system for formal education and non formal education. Some countries have to give leisure time to young people do many things because when they do many things, they will find many others. If they just get formal education, they will not be creative because young people just get same education each others and if they have leisure time and did not under pleasure it will make them do many things and will find different thing from their school.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)

Comments

Childhood is time for children
Childhood is the time for children

When childhood, children must get a lot of time
In/during childhood, children must get a lot of time

Sentence: If the young people apply for in the best company, they have to have the good education and skill.
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a preposition
Suggestion: Refer to for and in

Sentence: When they just study at school, it will make the young people are stuck and they have no others skill.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to others and skill

it will make the young people are stuck
it will make the young people stuck

people are under a lot of pleasure to work hard in their studies is not good for brain development
people are under a lot of pleasure to work hard in their studies, which is not good for brain's development

Sentence: If they just get formal education, they will not be creative because young people just get same education each others and if they have leisure time and did not under pleasure it will make them do many things and will find different thing from their school.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and others

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Words: 558 while No. of Different Words: 143

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 32 15
No. of Words: 558 350
No. of Characters: 2429 1500
No. of Different Words: 143 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.86 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.353 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.029 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.438 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.62 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.219 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.369 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.479 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.191 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5