Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.
Based on recent global warming trends and reports from local hunters, the author builds a link between global warming and the declining of deer population. However, her claim is full of holes and fallacies due to lack of solid evidence. More facts --- such as a more accurate account of deer population, the temperature trend in this area, and changes of eco-system at that area--- is needed to evaluate and substantiate her claim.
Though the author based her argument on reports from local hunters that the deer population is declining, this report is not clear enough to render any solid conclusion. All the information it provides is a vague account of 'declining'. However, the scope of observation, the long-term trend, and the numbers of deer observed is not clear. For example, the hunters may only observe deer near their own houses, and because less deer came to human villages this year, they falsely claim the deer population is declining. Or, it is likely that the long-term trend is that the deer number is rising, contrary to the hunters' observation. To provide a solid evidence, the author needs to provide a detailed survey on deer population in this area --- including evidence such as what the long-term trend is and how many deer are each year.
Moreover, the author contributes the declining number of deer to the trend of global warming. Though it is a fact that due to global warming, sea ice is melting and temperature is rising, more evidence is needed on how global warming has affected this area. It is likely that, though the temperature there has risen, it is not high enough to melt ice covering the sea separating those islands. If sea ice there is not melted, the author's claim is fallacious, because it will not affect the migration patterns of deer. As a result, the author's claim is not persuasive enough without evaluation on how global warming change the habitants of the deer.
Furthermore, even if the number of deer is declining and the ice does melt, there may be myriads of factors that could also affect the population of deer, but the author has ignored. For example, there may be a disease spreading across deer in that area that caused the population decline; or there may be a rise in the amounts of predators, contributing to the decline of deer population. Many other possible factors could affect the population of deer. Without ruling out other possible explanations, the author's claim is not substantiated.
To conclude, to build a solid arguments, the author needs to provide more evidence ,such as the changes of deer population, the effect of global warming on that area, and the changes of eco-system in that area. Without further evidence, her argument is not persuasive enough due to lack of necessary facts.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 595 350
No. of Characters: 2825 1500
No. of Different Words: 220 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.939 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.748 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.488 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 210 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 142 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.319 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.48 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.348 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.554 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.16 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 118, Rule ID: DURING_THE_COURSE_OF[1]
Message: Use simply 'during'.
Suggestion: during
...y moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 262, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...ich they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea sepa...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 421, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun deer is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...deer near their own houses, and because less deer came to human villages this year, ...
^^^^
Line 6, column 611, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'hunters'' or 'hunter's'?
Suggestion: hunters'; hunter's
... deer number is rising, contrary to the hunters observation. To provide a solid evidenc...
^^^^^^^
Line 12, column 31, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'argument'?
Suggestion: argument
...iated. To conclude, to build a solid arguments, the author needs to provide more evide...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 12, column 83, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...he author needs to provide more evidence ,such as the changes of deer population, ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, so, at least, for example, such as, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 83.0 55.5748502994 149% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2919.0 2260.96107784 129% => OK
No of words: 595.0 441.139720559 135% => OK
Chars per words: 4.90588235294 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.93888872473 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58796083971 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 239.0 204.123752495 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.401680672269 0.468620217663 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 898.2 705.55239521 127% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.6460731207 57.8364921388 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.76 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.8 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.96 5.70786347227 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.303673713055 0.218282227539 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0983065090796 0.0743258471296 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.13971239536 0.0701772020484 199% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.166473188346 0.128457276422 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.185609064207 0.0628817314937 295% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.3799401198 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.94 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 98.500998004 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.