Argument Type - The following appeared in a health magazine published in Corpora. "Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora's citizens meet the current standards for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years ago, one-half of all of

The author has argued that there are no reliable connections between the rate of computer usage and the people’s fitness in the corpora region, but it is about services provided for the citizens and the fitness related products. The author has tried to provide information that in twenty-two years ago, the number of people in good body shape was less than the number that today’s statistics show, so standards of the fitness are reliable. This argument is superficial in the information about the standards because it hasn’t mentioned what are the factors to verify standards. It is probable that standards of two decades ago aren’t working for today’s period due to the variations in the people’s food regime or on their activities volume in the daytime. By considering the hard life of recent decade, it is possible to result that the higher activity can make people fit in their body shape which can be in direct contrast with the way of life in approximately twenty years ago.

The reason of the author to disagree with the connection between the computer usage and the decline in the people’s fitness also not provided enough information. The argument doesn’t answer questions like how the assumptions are right and what are their reasons to reject probable relationship between fitness and using computers because people who work with computers whole day won’t be able to move around and they have to sustain their fixed situation that will result in the decreased body fitness. Furthermore, the author hasn’t mentioned to the implication of the fitness because there are the number of possible meanings for this specific word. Fitness in people’s view can have a different meaning, somebody can say a fat body is fitted one and somebody else can say that the slim person is fit. In some countries, fitness has a definite meaning but in some others it has a broad implication, so this word will be varied in the meaning in different periods and countries and also between different members of the family.

Another assumption of the author about the probability of having a relationship between using computers at high rate and the increases in the fitness by exemplifying some Corpora’s regions is superficial due to the fact that maybe people of this regions work at gym or they are hiking every day or maybe they have to have body exercises at their job places and that will be the reason of their body good shape. Some people are always fitted because of their genetic characteristics and at the other hand there are other people who can lose their fitness with just sipping a glass of water, so maybe it is the genetic characteristic of individuals at mentioned regions of Corpora that they have good body shape and maybe by using computers without these kinds of programs or heritage they also will lose their fit body.

Increase in the expenditure to provide products for fitness and providing services like gym clubs are good programs to improve people’s shape but it also won’t warranty people’s fitness. Consider situations when economic helps use to provide drugs that aren’t reliable enough and may conclude to the people’s obesity. Providing appropriate facilities is a hard task and every facility won’t result to better body shape. Moreover, trained mentors will be needed to make people’s body fitted and by only spending money it is not probable to gain the desired goal. The organized program which can survey each aspect of providing money for people’s fitness is needed and the mere funding won’t conclude to the individuals’ betterment. Furthermore, economic help in other sources like improving air condition, declining the usage of automobiles and making foods with higher nutritional values can also result in the fitness of people.

As whole, there are superficial assumptions by the author to strengthen his or her argument that computers aren’t related to body shape and financial help can make people’s body shape improved.

Votes
Average: 5 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

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argument 1 -- not OK. In GRE/GMAT, we have to accept all data or evidence are true.

argument 2 -- wrong from: 'Furthermore, the author hasn’t mentioned to the implication of the fitness because there are the number of possible meanings for this specific word. Fitness in people’s view can have a different meaning, somebody can say a fat body is fitted one and somebody else can say that the slim person is fit. In some countries, fitness has a definite meaning but in some others it has a broad implication, so this word will be varied in the meaning in different periods and countries and also between different members of the family. '

argument 3 -- not OK. maybe the high fitness are due to those people who don't own computers.

argument 4 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 669 350
No. of Characters: 3264 1500
No. of Different Words: 257 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.086 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.879 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.593 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 238 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 181 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 120 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 35.211 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.171 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.526 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.363 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.556 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5