The following appeared in a mayor's welcome notes to the members of a conference:
On behalf of everyone here in Ketner Springs, welcome to our blossoming community. We trust that you will find that Ketner Springs is the ideal place to locate your business, on account of our renowned transportation system and our award-winning parks and recreation department. Families love living here, as our schools have the lowest student-to-teacher ratio in the state and our restaurants boast more kiddie menu options than you can find anywhere in the country. If you need a place to locate your business or open a new office or factory, you'll find the perfect locale here in Ketner Springs.
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
The mayor in his welcome notes to the members of the conference avers that Ketner Springs is the best place to locate business.He substantiates his claim by stating about the renowned transportation system and award-winning parks and recreation department.He further goes on to state about the lowest student-to teacher ratio in the state and higher kiddie options in the state's restaurants menu options.Hence, a perfect locale set up to cater the business people needs.At first glance, the argument appears to fairly coherent and convincing.However, upon closer examination, we would find a number a flaws that render the argument wholly unpersuasive.
To begin with, the mayor has assumed that all types of businesses will find clients in the locale living in the Ketner Springs state. According to the Mayor's description, the businesses pertaining to the service sector such as the restaurant business or the recreational business may certainly find good opportunities on setting up a business here. But, same cannot be said for all types of industries.For instance, the manufacturing industry - which would rather spoil the environment around the state . Hence, this generalisation on the Mayor's part is incorrect.
Furthermore, the mayor tries to lure the business corporations to set up their businesses by selling out on the top class transportation system and recreational parks. The business people looks out for more factors than good transportation or recreations parks.For example, what all competition is there in the markets, the setting up cost of the new business, what will be their profit prospects etc.Additionally, the mayor mentions about the perfect locale.But, he fails to mention about the actual market these business will be catering to.If the market for the businesses is less , then inspite of having all the other factor set up, they wont come. Also, mentioning about the diverse kiddo menu options sounds irrelevant to the topic.Instead the mayor should include about more relevant topics and present with information which might actually want the businesses set up their works in the state. For Example- new policies or tax waivers for them etc.
In a nutshell, the notes presented by the mayor to the members of the conference on setting up a business in Ketner Spring is not compelling enough.If the mayor wants to make himself convincing enough then, he needs to outline want all benefits will be there for each of the industry type he is referring to, instead of generalising for all of them.Additionally, the mayor should try and present more informative things to the people out there instead of saying irrelevant things.
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
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Let's analyze the structure of the statement and argue accordingly:
condition 1:
We trust that you will find that Ketner Springs is the ideal place to locate your business, on account of our renowned transportation system and our award-winning parks and recreation department. //your argument 1. 'renowned transportation system and our award-winning parks and recreation department.' are not good enough for all kind of businesses. for example, a research center may want a good education system the most.
condition 2:
Families love living here, as our schools have the lowest student-to-teacher ratio in the state and our restaurants boast more kiddie menu options than you can find anywhere in the country. //'the lowest student-to-teacher ratio' doesn't mean a good quality. 'more kiddie menu options' can just attract people who have kids children.
conclusion:
If you need a place to locate your business or open a new office or factory, you'll find the perfect locale here in Ketner Springs. //business may look for more benefits like new policies or tax waivers, in your argument 2
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 436 350
No. of Characters: 2187 1500
No. of Different Words: 213 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.57 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.016 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.802 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 39.636 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 27.559 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.398 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.606 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.147 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5