The following appeared in a mayor's welcome notes to the members of a conference:On behalf of everyone here in Ketner Springs, welcome to our blossoming community. We trust that you will find that Ketner Springs is the ideal place to locate your business,

At first glance, the argument appears to fairly coherent and convincing.However, upon closer examination, we would find the mayor is true genius and a master of demand side economy.

Few knows the true cause last few devastating economic crisis, low demand. When the bull market facing diminishing demand with increasing money supply, the economy will head to a crash course. Not mentioning the Regan economics, devasted the American working class by de-tangle company’s profit and wage distribution. If an economy has no health consumer base and rejuvenating demand, any business will go out of business with low cash in flow.

Award-winning parks and recreation department will guarantee population inflow, either a service sector shop, or a factory store will benefit greatly, i.e. all businesses. Family strengthening system and good education sector will make employee much happy and loyal to their position. There will be less skilled-worker drain. Business will be able to keep their costly -trained employees.

A good place to raise kids and attracting family visitor is also a plus side. This will generate long term business opportunities for all kinds of business.

At last, I would like to discuss heavy industries. Those environmental devastating, soul grinding and social deconstruction businesses has no place in this beautiful town. Few realize the mayor, first servant to the people, must be responsible to the citiy’s first residents first, and later-coming businesses later. Those undesirable businesses must not have any tax cut or else benefactorial programs. If the mayor choose to betray his base, indicating welcoming heavy industry, he will soon ousted of his office.

In a nutshell, the notes presented by the mayor to the members of the conference on setting up a business in Ketner Spring is only for true entrepreneurs, not the fainted-hearted capitalists. If the mayor wants to make himself not convincing enough then, he needs to outline want all benefits will be there for each of the “heavily friendly” industry type he is referring to, instead of generalising for all of good sustainable companies .Additionally, the mayor is first a politician, a reformer last, he will cover his ass and say good things and imply to the smart, relevant, intelligent business people.

Votes
Average: 3 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

flaws:
It is out of topic. This is not an issue essay. Read a sample:

https://www.testbig.com/gmat-awa-essays/following-appeared-mayors-welco…

------------------------

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 366 350
No. of Characters: 1883 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.374 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.145 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.922 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.796 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.272 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.569 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.057 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5