In an attempt to improve highway safety, Prunty County last year lowered its speed limit from 55 to 45 miles per hour on all county highways. But this effort has failed: the number of accidents has not decreased, and, based on reports by the highway patrol, many drivers are exceeding the speed limit. Prunty County should instead undertake the same kind of road improvement project that Butler County completed five years ago: increasing lane widths, resurfacing rough highways, and improving visibility at dangerous intersections. Today, major Butler County roads still have a 55 mph speed limit, yet there were 25 percent fewer reported accidents in Butler County this past year than there were five years ago.
The writer claims that in order for Prunty county to improve highway safety, instead of reducing the speed limit they should rather do what Butler county did, which is increasing lane widths, resurfacing rough highways and improving visibility at dangerous intersection. For the writer to just assume that the projects carried out to improve the road in Butler county is the cause of the improvement in highway safety is wrong. His point would have been buttressed if he had more evidences showing that the reasons mentioned above were the causes of the improvement in highway safety. The low rate of accidents in Butler county might be as a result of other factors such as: strict adhesion to rules like not being drunk while driving or a more conducive weather condition for driving, such as absence of fog which might reduce visibility.
Secondly, it was just mentioned that the number of cases reduced by 25 percent in the past 5 years. The number of cases of accidents that occurred five years ago and those that occurred in the present year should have been stated. This would make us to know whether there was actually a significant reduction in the number of accidents or not. For example, if the number of cases reduced from 1000 to 750,there is a 25 perecent decrease in the accident cases, it could be seen that there is a large decrease in the number of cases compared to a reduction from 100 to 75 cases, which still shows a 25 perecent reduction in the number of cases.
Thirdly, the writer talked about the reported cases in the past five years. What about the cases which weren’t reported? He should have therefore presented his information based on a reliable statistical data, having the number of accidents which were both reported and not reported.
What should be done is to make sure people adhere to the 45 mph speed limit. This could be done by; increasing the number of patrol officers and making offenders pay a large sum of money as fine.
Sentence: For example, if the number of cases reduced from 1000 to 750,there is a 25 perecent decrease in the accident cases, it could be seen that there is a large decrease in the number of cases compared to a reduction from 100 to 75 cases, which still shows a 25 perecent reduction in the number of cases.
Error: perecent Suggestion: percent
flaws:
Where is 'firstly'?
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 345 350
No. of Characters: 1593 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.31 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.617 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.403 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 111 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 70 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.538 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.357 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.382 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.642 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.218 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5