The author of this passage strongly believes that the major cause of the recent low employment rate of Omega University’s graduates resides in student evaluation of professors which was introduced fifteen years ago. Superficially listing seemingly plausible reasons, the author seems to make a convincing argument; however, on closer inspection, it turns out that this argument is rife with many lacunae of pivotal evidence, thus making it unsubstantiated.
An assumption in this argument is that professors have deliberately given students abnormally high grades for the purpose of avoiding poor evaluation from them. However, it could not be easily asserted that evaluation of students is the only reason for the increase in overall student grade averages at Omega University, since strong and relevant evidence is not yet presented. It is entirely possible that students have studied harder, or that the examinations of the recent years have been easier than the past. In order for the author's claim to prove true, more specific evidence demonstrating that professors had the intention to increase grades, with expectation of favorable evaluation from students.
Second, the author states that potential employers believe that grades at Omega are inflated and do not accurately reflect student achievement. The readers of this passage would not be convinced of this statement because there is no detailed information regarding this fact. Who are those potential employers? How could the author know the opinion and thought of potential employers? If certain surveys have been conducted for determining the view of several employers, how many employers were surveyed, and what were the questions included the survey? Were there any other opinions about the Omega graduates' low degree of getting jobs? In order to make his claim persuasive, the author should provide more sound information about the mentioned opinion of potential employers.
The lack of evidence is also found in the comparison between Omega graduates and Alpha graduates. The wording "not been as successful" is an absolutely vague expression, thus making this argument uncorroborated. On what criteria is the success in getting jobs assessed? Which is more important value in evaluating a success in getting a job, among high salary and high stability? If the rate of employment of Alpha graduates were higher, while the average salaries of Omega graduates who could get the job were significantly higher than their counterpart, then who are more successful?
Those lacks of crucial evidence lead to the completely unwarranted conclusion that to enable Omega graduates to secure better jobs, the Omega authorities should terminate student evaluation of professors. Without relevant evidence, and without taking account of other possible factors, the writer narrows down the cause of the problem just into the matter of grade. Instead, it would be better for the Omega University authorities to focus on raising quality of education, to improve its facilities like libraries, and to expand chances of getting funding so that the students could concentrate their study and participate more academic activities.
- Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their 41
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, regarding, second, so, then, thus, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 55.5748502994 121% => OK
Nominalization: 26.0 16.3942115768 159% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2711.0 2260.96107784 120% => OK
No of words: 490.0 441.139720559 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.53265306122 5.12650576532 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70488508055 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94799362092 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 256.0 204.123752495 125% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.522448979592 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 864.0 705.55239521 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.3075904498 57.8364921388 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.095238095 119.503703932 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3333333333 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.80952380952 5.70786347227 49% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.217637574111 0.218282227539 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0611180522109 0.0743258471296 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0614511352342 0.0701772020484 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.124186688107 0.128457276422 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.048961735076 0.0628817314937 78% => OK
automated_readability_index: 16.3 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 31.21 48.3550499002 65% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.09 12.5979740519 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.26 8.32208582834 111% => OK
difficult_words: 139.0 98.500998004 141% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not exactly
Need to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:
To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should terminate student evaluation of professors.
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 490 350
No. of Characters: 2640 1500
No. of Different Words: 251 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.705 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.388 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.792 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 205 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 170 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 120 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 82 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.224 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.297 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.297 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5