The author of the passages claims that Omega University should terminate student evaluation of professors in order to enable them to secure better jobs. His main concern is that the rise in the student grade average after the implementation of this procedure affected in a negative way the employers’ attitude towards the students from this university. However, his conclusion lacks certain evidence which renders it untenable.
First of all, it is vital to know the actual knowledge level of the students of Omega University and see the yearly statistics on this topic. Of course, if no standardized tests were applied thought those 15 years it will be impossible to gather the required data, but what is possible is to analyze the applicants’ profiles and the results of the exams they are supposed to take before applying to universities. Usually, those tests are identical for all schools and cities, therefore, they provide a sound base for judgment. Of course, some pupils’ results could be skewed because of their 'before exam' anxiety or sickness on the test day, but usually, such tests provide a good big picture. It is entirely possible that Omega University during those 15 years was trying to improve its rating not only by implementing new ways of teaching and general educational process organization (as described in the passage) but also by accepting students with higher GPA and test results. Therefore, having some information regarding this issue would greatly help to evaluate the argument better.
Another evidence required is the general profiles of both universities, such as a list of majors available and the number of students, etc. For that matter, perhaps those universities provide absolutely different education, consider a classical university and a polytechnic one. Undoubtedly, the students will have different knowledge, skills and will not normally apply for the same positions at the company. Therefore, it is entirely possible that Omega University students were unsuccessful at finding a job due to an excess of the specialists of their profile at the labor market. Another thing to consider is the number of students, perhaps the Alpha University is significantly smaller and 98 percent of successful employment means that 98 of their overall 100 students obtained a job, while it could be 98 and 10,000 respectively at Omega. Without knowing such crucial information, we must not draw any conclusions.
Finally, it is important to know what jobs the students of both universities managed to land. Perhaps, students of Alpha University were willing to agree for a position at a lower level or with much lower pay, while Omega students’ requirements were higher. The employers might prefer to hire the first ones due to its economic convenience and concealed their reasoning with the supposedly inflated grades of the second. Therefore, the author of this passage must provide the salary and working environment expectations of students of both universities as well as their desired positions.
In the final analysis, the argument is unconvincing as it stands as it lacks crucial information. Unless the above-mentioned pieces of evidence that support the conclusion are provided, it cannot be considered cogent.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 517 350
No. of Characters: 2676 1500
No. of Different Words: 266 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.768 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.176 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.858 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 209 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 168 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 116 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 71 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.85 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.855 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.288 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.519 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.049 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 269, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a negative way" with adverb for "negative"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...plementation of this procedure affected in a negative way the employers' attitude towards th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 559, Rule ID: BOTH_AS_WELL_AS[1]
Message: Probable usage error. Use 'and' after 'both'.
Suggestion: and
...ations of students of both universities as well as their desired positions. In the fina...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, regarding, second, so, therefore, well, while, another thing, of course, such as, as well as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 67.0 55.5748502994 121% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2763.0 2260.96107784 122% => OK
No of words: 517.0 441.139720559 117% => OK
Chars per words: 5.34429400387 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.76839952204 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.02767311149 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 273.0 204.123752495 134% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.528046421663 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 885.6 705.55239521 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.7679629508 57.8364921388 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.571428571 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.619047619 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.95238095238 5.70786347227 122% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.241710034543 0.218282227539 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0649388542402 0.0743258471296 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0551530896913 0.0701772020484 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.121892627376 0.128457276422 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0616715839586 0.0628817314937 98% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.99 12.5979740519 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.41 8.32208582834 113% => OK
difficult_words: 150.0 98.500998004 152% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.