The following appeared in an article in a health–and–fitness magazine:
"Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria. Residents of Saluda, the small town where the water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. Even though Saluda Natural Spring Water may seem expensive, drinking it instead of tap water is a wise investment in good health."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
This argument claims that it’s wisely for people to drink Saluda Natural Spring Water rather than the tap water even the former is far more expensive than the latter. The evidence cited to support this conclusion is the laboratory studies showing that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains some necessary minerals and it’s free of bacteria. To further support the conclusion, the author also mentioned that the residents of Saluda visit hospital less frequently than the national average. However, I found this argument not convincing and the reasons are as following:
First of all, the author readily assumes that the reason why the Saluda residents go to hospitals less frequently than the people in other towns does is that they drink the Saluda Natural Spring Water. Although the laboratory studies show that the Saluda natural spring water does contain several of minerals which are good for health, this is not necessary the main cause of local residents being healthier. It could be possible that the air condition in Saluda is much better than that in other cities, so people there is living in an environment being good for their health. Also, the residents in Saluda are likely to exercise more than those who live in other cities, so it’s not surprised that they are healthier than the national average. The author would have to eliminate all the other possibilities before making the assumption that drinking natural spring water is the sole reason why people in Saluda is healthier than the national average.
Move over, the author suggests that it would be a good investment in drinking spring water instead of tap water even it’s very expensive. There’s no doubt that the minerals contained in the spring water are good for health, yet it doesn’t mean that it worth the excess cost. With the extra money paid for the spring water, people may be able to buy more nutrition supplies that contain the same minerals. And the fundamental thing is that people can choose what type of mineral they need to take based on the suggestion from doctor, rather than reply on the certain type of minerals offered with the water.
In sum, this argument is not compelling as it fails to address some factors that should be taken into consideration. It would be considerably strengthened if the author could eliminate the other possibilities making the local residents healthier and provide the proof that investment in drinking spring water is worthy comparing with the investment in other nutrient supplies products.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
----------------
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK, but more, like: water is only one thing for good health.
----------------
flaws:
also need to argue:
Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria.
when it is in Laboratory, it is completely free of bacteria, however, when it is out of Laboratory, it may be different.
---------------------
better to have 3 arguments for essays.
---------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 419 350
No. of Characters: 2068 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.524 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.936 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.408 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.933 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.678 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.39 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.585 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 555, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... there is living in an environment being good for their health. Also, the residen...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, may, so, then, no doubt, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2142.0 2260.96107784 95% => OK
No of words: 418.0 441.139720559 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.12440191388 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52162009685 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53062558293 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.444976076555 0.468620217663 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 657.9 705.55239521 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 47.0561974057 57.8364921388 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 153.0 119.503703932 128% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.8571428571 23.324526521 128% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.5 5.70786347227 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.297709475857 0.218282227539 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.13072939197 0.0743258471296 176% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.120308119128 0.0701772020484 171% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.183891565991 0.128457276422 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0907053459377 0.0628817314937 144% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.6 14.3799401198 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 48.3550499002 87% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.01 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.1 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.