. The following appeared in an article written by Dr. Karp, an anthropologist.
"Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia and concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. However, my recent interviews with children living in the group of islands that includes Tertia show that these children spend much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. This research of mine proves that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture is invalid and thus that the observation-centered approach to studying cultures is invalid as well. The interview-centered method that my team of graduate students is currently using in Tertia will establish a much more accurate understanding of childrearing traditions there and in other island cultures."
First, according the article, Dr. Field visited only the island of Tertia unlike the author which focused on the whole groups of island. Therefore it is possible that method raising of children on Tertia is different when compared to other groups of the island. Since the argument is focused on childrearing methods in Tertia, the author should not have included other villages on the island because it takes us out of the scope of study.
Second, the author reported that he interviewed children which may have given him a narrow view different to that of Dr. Field's that observed the whole village, children and adults alike. Interviewing only the children will not provide the accurate description because the children are not raising themselves, parents and other adults in the village should be brought into the fold to clearly understand the childrearing methods in Tertia.
Finally, children talking about their biological parents more than the other adults in the village does not invalidate Dr. Fields conclusion. Children in the island of Tertia might be spending more time with their parents thus increasing interaction time between them. Children might also find their parents more interesting which will ultimately lead to the children spending more time talking about their parents.
Thus, the argument fails to provide evidences beyond reasonable doubt that interviewed-centered method will produce a much more accurate understanding of childrearing traditions in Tertia than the observation-centered method. The argument might have strengthened if the author have interviewed; the children in Tertia village only and not include other islands as well as children, parents and adults rather than only the children.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 269 350
No. of Characters: 1439 1500
No. of Different Words: 123 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.05 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.349 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.844 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 84 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.9 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.957 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.477 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.721 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.238 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 138, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
... focused on the whole groups of island. Therefore it is possible that method raising of c...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, if, may, second, so, then, therefore, thus, well, talking about, as well as, on the whole
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 19.6327345309 31% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 55.5748502994 58% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1470.0 2260.96107784 65% => OK
No of words: 269.0 441.139720559 61% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.46468401487 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.0498419064 4.56307096286 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88923884608 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 129.0 204.123752495 63% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.479553903346 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 439.2 705.55239521 62% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 19.7664670659 51% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.1095001158 57.8364921388 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 147.0 119.503703932 123% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.9 23.324526521 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.1 5.70786347227 194% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.181016564386 0.218282227539 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0914073370793 0.0743258471296 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0384165568634 0.0701772020484 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125444822058 0.128457276422 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0288029495372 0.0628817314937 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.7 14.3799401198 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.68 12.5979740519 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.39 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 98.500998004 60% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.