The following appeared in an article written by Dr. Karp, an anthropologist.
“Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia and
concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village
rather than by their own biological parents. However, my recent interviews with children
living in the group of islands that includes Tertia show that these children spend much more
time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. This
research of mine proves that Dr. Field’s conclusion about Tertian village culture is invalid
and thus that the observation-centered approach to studying cultures is invalid as well. The
interview-centered method that my team of graduate students is currently using in Tertia will
establish a much more accurate understanding of child-rearing traditions there and in other
island cultures.”
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the
argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The some aspects of Dr.Karp's article are true.But in the view of whole article, I am not supporting some arguments and claims of Dr.Kurp.
First of all, ther is twenty years gap between two surveys, and due to this gap of years, the results may differ. It is because, in the period of twenty years, many things and circumstances could be changed. So getting two different two results is a common sense things.
Secodnly, Dr.Kurep is surveying group of islands including Tertia, but Dr.Field just commented or claimed about Tertia. It is very common that the other villages features, circumstances, environment and obsevations may effecting the the survey about Tertia. Thus, the survey of Dr.Kurp may be not as much as accurate about the conclusion about Tertia.
In addition, it is also expected that the Dr.Kurp's survey may included some spefic children.These children may be those whose growth may not be effected by villagers. But, on the basis of some children,the conlcusion about whole village may not be so much benficial or resulting.
Lastly,if it is accpeted or agrreeing upon the survey of Dr,Kurp about the mentioned aspect, it is not sensful to reach upon conclusion that the observation-centered approach is invalid. The observation-centered may be valid and useful some other topics or research rahter than this.
My supporitng view to Dr.Kurp's articel is that the sruvey done by Dr.Kurp and team,includes many children and interview those children. So. conclusion if the Dr.Kurps survey may include more views, observations and thinkings of many native childs. In this way, Dr.Kurps survey can give more useful and accurate results and outcomes than Dr.Field's survey.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 288 350
No. of Characters: 1366 1500
No. of Different Words: 144 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.12 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.743 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.771 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.247 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.786 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.359 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.697 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.104 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 5, Rule ID: THE_SOME_DAY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'same'?
Suggestion: same
The some aspects of Dr.Karps article are true.Bu...
^^^^
Line 1, column 24, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Karps
The some aspects of Dr.Karps article are true.But in the view of who...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 47, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: But
...me aspects of Dr.Karps article are true.But in the view of whole article, I am not ...
^^^
Line 1, column 133, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Kurp
...porting some arguments and claims of Dr.Kurp. First of all, ther is twenty years ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 14, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Kurep
... a common sense things. Secodnly, Dr.Kurep is surveying group of islands including...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 75, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Field
...oup of islands including Tertia, but Dr.Field just commented or claimed about Tertia....
^^^^^
Line 8, column 110, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...vironment and obsevations may effecting the the survey about Tertia. Thus, the survey...
^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 110, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...vironment and obsevations may effecting the the survey about Tertia. Thus, the survey...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 24, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Kurp
... about Tertia. Thus, the survey of Dr.Kurp may be not as much as accurate about th...
^^^^
Line 11, column 46, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Kurps
...dition, it is also expected that the Dr.Kurps survey may included some spefic childre...
^^^^^
Line 11, column 93, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: These
...urvey may included some spefic children.These children may be those whose growth may ...
^^^^^
Line 12, column 35, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ers. But, on the basis of some children,the conlcusion about whole village may not ...
^^^^
Line 14, column 7, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , if
...o much benficial or resulting. Lastly,if it is accpeted or agrreeing upon the su...
^^^
Line 14, column 60, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , Kurp
...peted or agrreeing upon the survey of Dr,Kurp about the mentioned aspect, it is not s...
^^^^^
Line 17, column 26, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Kurps
... than this. My supporitng view to Dr.Kurps articel is that the sruvey done by Dr.K...
^^^^^
Line 17, column 70, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Kurp
...s articel is that the sruvey done by Dr.Kurp and team,includes many children and int...
^^^^
Line 17, column 83, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , includes
...that the sruvey done by Dr.Kurp and team,includes many children and interview those child...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 18, column 25, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Kurps
...ose children. So. conclusion if the Dr.Kurps survey may include more views, observat...
^^^^^
Line 18, column 128, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Kurps
... of many native childs. In this way, Dr.Kurps survey can give more useful and accurat...
^^^^^
Line 18, column 204, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Fields
...d accurate results and outcomes than Dr.Fields survey.
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, lastly, may, so, thus, in addition, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 55.5748502994 54% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 4.0 16.3942115768 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1442.0 2260.96107784 64% => OK
No of words: 272.0 441.139720559 62% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.30147058824 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.06108636974 4.56307096286 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01803976346 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 148.0 204.123752495 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.544117647059 0.468620217663 116% => OK
syllable_count: 414.0 705.55239521 59% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.6884442787 57.8364921388 53% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 103.0 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.4285714286 23.324526521 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.70786347227 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 13.0 5.15768463074 252% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 20.0 5.25449101796 381% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.1686948893 0.218282227539 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0705166870041 0.0743258471296 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0514329267254 0.0701772020484 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0712774114396 0.128457276422 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0532480570206 0.0628817314937 85% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.46 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.58 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 98.500998004 70% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.