The argument presented is over conduction of athletic competition in Parkville for children under nine. The authorities have decided to discontinue the conduction after analysing the situation of children in youth-league sports which stated over fourty thousand young players suffered from injuries, faced psychological pressure from coaches and parents to win the game. Long practice hours caused a academic damage to the students.
The reasons stated to discontinue the athletic competition is full of holes and assumptions. Youth league sports was conducted across the entire country where as athletic competition is carried out in Parkville alone. There are many cases where, events conducted in large scale leads to lot of casualities as compared to small scale events. I would like to first highlight that there are no reasons provided for the injury of over fourty thousand young players. This leaves us with an open end question. There could be several factors which contributed to the injuries. One such case might be that players were not provided with sufficient precautionary accessories. Even if provided there is no evidence provided to support that all the supplied material was in good shape. There is no evidence provided to state exactly which place young players were injured. Thus, deep analysis have to be provided before drawing same conclusions.
As stated there is psychological pressure exerted by coaches as well as parents. As youth league was conducted on large scale it is not correct to draw the same conclusion for Parkville coaches and parents. There was no analysis done to specific which part of the country's parents and coaches exerted pressure on the players to win. Concerned authorities have to carry out proper survey on the area to conclude anything definite. There have to be stricter rules for such coaches, and more encouragement towards playing sports as fun activity and exercising means.
There are no evidences provided to claim the cleanliness provided. There is no analysis provided on the condition of playing ground. There is no statistics given to show the amount of medical facility present at the time of emergency. There is no statistical analysis provided to show the number of hours players have been playing. Thus, concluding their academic studies have been affected is not a fact but just another assumption. As it was conducted on large scale, they have to perform the analysis on every individual sports ground before concluding anything.
Thus, proper case study needs to be performed on various factors before drawing any parallel conclusions. Education and sports are equally vital for the overall development of the child. Thus, Concerned authorities of Parkville should conduct their own survey on all the above stated factor before deciding to discontinue with the athletic sports.
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 452 350
No. of Characters: 2360 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.611 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.221 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.706 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 184 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 148 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.741 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.028 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.259 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.271 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.461 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 399, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...in the game. Long practice hours caused a academic damage to the students. Th...
^
Line 1, column 399, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'academic damage'.
Suggestion: academic damage
...in the game. Long practice hours caused a academic damage to the students. The reasons stated...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 154, Rule ID: WHERE_AS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'whereas'?
Suggestion: whereas
...was conducted across the entire country where as athletic competition is carried out in ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 936, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ovided before drawing same conclusions. As stated there is psychological pressur...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 68, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ided to claim the cleanliness provided. There is no analysis provided on the conditio...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 134, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ded on the condition of playing ground. There is no statistics given to show the amou...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 236, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ility present at the time of emergency. There is no statistical analysis provided to ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, so, thus, well, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.9520958084 31% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 11.0 28.8173652695 38% => OK
Preposition: 69.0 55.5748502994 124% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2410.0 2260.96107784 107% => OK
No of words: 452.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.33185840708 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61088837703 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75964693149 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.488938053097 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 756.9 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.2654094758 57.8364921388 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.2592592593 119.503703932 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.7407407407 23.324526521 72% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.55555555556 5.70786347227 27% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.11813268779 0.218282227539 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0310758049326 0.0743258471296 42% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0432073493283 0.0701772020484 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0748755490587 0.128457276422 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0538055783195 0.0628817314937 86% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 46.78 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.34 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.99 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 98.500998004 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.