The following appeared in a memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo Inc a chain of hobby shops Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon We discovered that there a

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo, Inc., a chain of hobby shops.
"Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon. We discovered that there are currently no hobby shops in southeastern Grilldon. When our researchers conducted a poll of area residents, 88 percent of those who responded indicated that they would welcome the opening of a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. Grilldon is in a region of the nation in which the hobby business has increased by 300 percent during the past decade. In addition, Grilldon has a very large population of retirees, a demographic with ample time to devote to hobbies. We therefore recommend that you choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for your next HobCo Hobby Shop. We predict that a shop in this area will draw a steady stream of enthusiastic new HobCo customers."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

In this passage, the author recommends to choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for next HobCo Hobby Shop, because of various facts mentioned above indicating the huge potentials of market. To support his/her claim, the author cites several facts related with market potentials. Quite reasonable though such recommendation appears at first glance, there exists several questions regarding his/her line of reasoning that requires further analysis. Thus, the author's conclusion could end up being pretty compelling or invalid in the end, depending on the answers to the questions.

To start off, the author's reasoning heavily relies on whether such poll accurately reflect real attitudes of people in Grilldon towards opening hobby shop, a question that is not yet answered. It is likely that such poll could be deliberately designed to get better market feedbacks, because researchers in company HobCo, Inc, want to flatter with president's investment idea. Additionally, without additional information to evaluate the responders in this poll, it is of equal probability that 88 percentages of responders have been biased by advertisement for researchers so that they mightn't really participate with buying products of shop in practice. Such phenomenon could seriously challenge the aforementioned conclusion of researchers and render his/her viewpoint much less advisable. On the contrary, any valid proof that poll is designed in a disinterested way and responders really tell their real intention could strengthen his/her stance.

Granted that such research reflects the truth and given the fact that increasing rate of hobby business and interests of retirees, whether the company should adapt with construction of new shop needs a second look. Behind the author's reasoning lie two critical implications. The first one is that such robust increasing trend of hobby business could be kept in the future. The probability that such strong momentum of increasing of business might decline must be considered and addressed. Yet, if the author could unequivocally demonstrate that such increasing could last for the next decade, his/her viewpoint will gain more weights.

Furthermore, the second implication is that retirees' devotion on hobby could guarantee them to buy product or involve with business in new shop of HobCo in Grilldon. While the demographic provide such probability, the likelihood that those retirees have already been attracted by other companies could not be excluded in advance. For example, they might already devote sufficiently money to products or services provided by other companies. Thus, we have no clues whether new opening shop for Grilldon could have tremendous appealing to change their previous inclination. If no, potential for new Hobco shop in Grilldon to win retirees is unlikely, despite the prosperous statistics of retirees. Otherwise, more customer from retirees in Grilldon could be expected for the future business of HoboCo in Grilldon.

Last but not least, while we can acknowledge for a moment that HobCo could gain benefits from all of the aforementioned aspects , it remains to be seen whether the shop could be well managed in local. Other factors, such as management efficacy and investment amount from the HobCo company, could readily compete with the one alleged in the argument. If local shop will run incorrectly, or investment from HobCo is limited, this is doubtful that new opening shop could win favors from local residents and make profit out of it.

In summary, while great potential shows the poll in Grilldon for new opening shop of Grilldon, this is a conclusion that we cannot derive from the information available in the argument. Furthermore, even if such poll result is accurate, the author's suggestion is still built upon implications, which are open to different probabilities. Only after the aforementioned questions are adequately addressed can we effectively evaluate such recommendation and reach a logically sound conclusion.

Votes
Average: 7 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 29, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'recommends choosing'.
Suggestion: recommends choosing
In this passage, the author recommends to choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for n...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 461, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...at requires further analysis. Thus, the authors conclusion could end up being pretty co...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 156, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... in Grilldon towards opening hobby shop, a question that is not yet answered. It ...
^^
Line 3, column 285, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...designed to get better market feedbacks, because researchers in company HobCo, In...
^^
Line 3, column 589, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: mightn't
...ertisement for researchers so that they mightnt really participate with buying products...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 850, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a disinterested way" with adverb for "disinterested"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
..., any valid proof that poll is designed in a disinterested way and responders really tell their real i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 46, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed that such research reflects the truth and given the fact that increasing rate ...
^^
Line 7, column 45, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'retirees'' or 'retiree's'?
Suggestion: retirees'; retiree's
...hermore, the second implication is that retirees devotion on hobby could guarantee them ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 95, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...ent that HobCo could gain benefits from all of the aforementioned aspects , it remains to ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 128, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...s from all of the aforementioned aspects , it remains to be seen whether the shop ...
^^
Line 9, column 423, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ly, or investment from HobCo is limited, this is doubtful that new opening shop c...
^^
Line 11, column 242, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...en if such poll result is accurate, the authors suggestion is still built upon implicat...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, if, look, really, regarding, second, so, still, then, thus, well, while, for example, in summary, such as, on the contrary

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 24.0 12.9520958084 185% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 81.0 55.5748502994 146% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3401.0 2260.96107784 150% => OK
No of words: 617.0 441.139720559 140% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.51215559157 5.12650576532 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.98392262146 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95977693958 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 312.0 204.123752495 153% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5056726094 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 1033.2 705.55239521 146% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.2886744709 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.807692308 119.503703932 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7307692308 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.65384615385 5.70786347227 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 8.20758483034 207% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.252224677743 0.218282227539 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0755540974905 0.0743258471296 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0750001656253 0.0701772020484 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.139622323593 0.128457276422 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.051234749387 0.0628817314937 81% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.4 14.3799401198 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 48.3550499002 82% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.97 12.5979740519 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.1 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 169.0 98.500998004 172% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.

Rates: 70.83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.25 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 29, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'recommends choosing'.
Suggestion: recommends choosing
In this passage, the author recommends to choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for n...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 461, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...at requires further analysis. Thus, the authors conclusion could end up being pretty co...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 156, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... in Grilldon towards opening hobby shop, a question that is not yet answered. It ...
^^
Line 3, column 285, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...designed to get better market feedbacks, because researchers in company HobCo, In...
^^
Line 3, column 589, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: mightn't
...ertisement for researchers so that they mightnt really participate with buying products...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 850, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a disinterested way" with adverb for "disinterested"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
..., any valid proof that poll is designed in a disinterested way and responders really tell their real i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 46, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed that such research reflects the truth and given the fact that increasing rate ...
^^
Line 7, column 45, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'retirees'' or 'retiree's'?
Suggestion: retirees'; retiree's
...hermore, the second implication is that retirees devotion on hobby could guarantee them ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 95, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...ent that HobCo could gain benefits from all of the aforementioned aspects , it remains to ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 128, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...s from all of the aforementioned aspects , it remains to be seen whether the shop ...
^^
Line 9, column 423, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ly, or investment from HobCo is limited, this is doubtful that new opening shop c...
^^
Line 11, column 242, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...en if such poll result is accurate, the authors suggestion is still built upon implicat...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, if, look, really, regarding, second, so, still, then, thus, well, while, for example, in summary, such as, on the contrary

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 24.0 12.9520958084 185% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 81.0 55.5748502994 146% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3401.0 2260.96107784 150% => OK
No of words: 617.0 441.139720559 140% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.51215559157 5.12650576532 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.98392262146 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95977693958 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 312.0 204.123752495 153% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5056726094 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 1033.2 705.55239521 146% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.2886744709 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.807692308 119.503703932 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7307692308 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.65384615385 5.70786347227 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 8.20758483034 207% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.252224677743 0.218282227539 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0755540974905 0.0743258471296 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0750001656253 0.0701772020484 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.139622323593 0.128457276422 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.051234749387 0.0628817314937 81% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.4 14.3799401198 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 48.3550499002 82% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.97 12.5979740519 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.1 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 169.0 98.500998004 172% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.

Rates: 70.83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.25 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.