The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing.
"Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. This coat should sell very well: since we have not offered an alpaca overcoat for five years and since our major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat, there will be pent-up customer demand. Also, since the price of most types of clothing has increased in each of the past five years, customers should be willing to pay significantly higher prices for alpaca overcoats than they did five years ago, and our company profits will increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The vice president recommends that Sartorian should resume the production of the alpaca overcoat, as they recently find a new fabric supplier. Also, he predicts that the sales condition of the coat will be very good due to the high demand, thereby increasing the company’s profits considerably. The claim seems to be eloquent at first glance, but it reveals some logical flaws, as they are based on some precarious assumptions.
To begin with, the vice president suggests that the company should resume the manufacturing of the overcoat due to their newly signed fabric supplier. As mentioned above, the firm stopped the production of the overcoat because of the insufficient supply of high quality wool fabric. As there’s no detailed information about the new fabric supplier, whether it can provide qualified wool fabric for producing the overcoat is doubtful. Thus, unless concrete evidences are presented to prove the supplier’s ability to provide sufficient high quality fabric, the recommendation made by the vice president is unwarranted.
In addition, the vice president cites there will be a huge demand of alpaca overcoat, because they haven’t offered the overcoats for years and their main opponent no longer produces such overcoats. Such an assumption can only be justified by evidence proving market conditions remain unchanged during the last five years. Otherwise, it is entirely possible that the alpaca overcoat is outdated and that’s the reason the company’s major competitor has stopped producing this kind of overcoat. Therefore, without detailed investigation in the market conditions, I will not be convinced by the argument presented by the presidents.
Finally, the vice president presumes that customers are willing to pay higher prices for alpaca overcoats, as other types of clothes have experienced a significant increase in the past five years. However, the vice president probably premises the design and materials of these clothes are all the same and reaches at the unreliable conclusion. It is entirely possible that the higher price of other types of clothes is due to their sophisticated design and better materials. Thus, if there’s no plausible evidence indicating the alpaca overcoat is almost the same compared to other clothes in design and the materials it uses, it is imprudent to draw the conclusion that the overcoat will contribute to the increase of profits.
In sum, the suggestion presented by the vice president is based on several unjustified assumptions. To bolster his suggestion, more detailed investigations, such as status of the new fabric supplier, market conditions in the past five years and comparisons between the overcoat and other clothes are require to make the recommendation more persuasive.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 500, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
...tter materials. Thus, if there's no plausible evidence indicating the alpaca...
Line 9, column 301, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'required'.
...ween the overcoat and other clothes are require to make the recommendation more persuas...
Line 9, column 309, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO
Message: Did you mean 'making'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
... overcoat and other clothes are require to make the recommendation more persuasive.
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'finally', 'first', 'however', 'if', 'so', 'therefore', 'thus', 'in addition', 'kind of', 'such as', 'all the same', 'to begin with']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.25748502994 0.25644967241 100% => OK
Verbs: 0.137724550898 0.15541462614 89% => OK
Adjectives: 0.107784431138 0.0836205057962 129% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0419161676647 0.0520304965353 81% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0299401197605 0.0272364105082 110% => OK
Prepositions: 0.11377245509 0.125424944231 91% => OK
Participles: 0.0379241516966 0.0416121511921 91% => OK
Conjunctions: 3.06834357528 2.79052419416 110% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0259481037924 0.026700313972 97% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.117764471058 0.113004496875 104% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0159680638723 0.0255425247493 63% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0 0.0127820249294 0% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2801.0 2731.13054187 103% => OK
No of words: 432.0 446.07635468 97% => OK
Chars per words: 6.4837962963 6.12365571057 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55901411391 4.57801047555 100% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.435185185185 0.378187486979 115% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.347222222222 0.287650121315 121% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.270833333333 0.208842608468 130% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.19212962963 0.135150697306 142% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.06834357528 2.79052419416 110% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 207.018472906 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.490740740741 0.469332199767 105% => OK
Word variations: 54.7114226063 52.1807786196 105% => OK
How many sentences: 17.0 20.039408867 85% => OK
Sentence length: 25.4117647059 23.2022227129 110% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.5107354648 57.7814097925 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 164.764705882 141.986410481 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4117647059 23.2022227129 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.823529411765 0.724660767414 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 3.58251231527 84% => OK
Readability: 60.1339869281 51.9672348444 116% => OK
Elegance: 1.95238095238 1.8405768891 106% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.344373978105 0.441005458295 78% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.133276479203 0.135418324435 98% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0833360676203 0.0829849096947 100% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.652104006766 0.58762219726 111% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.0978875328161 0.147661913831 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.175073630912 0.193483328276 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.057652886975 0.0970749176394 59% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.508519182757 0.42659136922 119% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0451084907074 0.0774707102158 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.258823886238 0.312017818177 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0283381266121 0.0698173142475 41% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.33743842365 96% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.87684729064 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.82512315271 83% => OK
Positive topic words: 8.0 6.46551724138 124% => OK
Negative topic words: 5.0 5.36822660099 93% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 2.82389162562 106% => OK
Total topic words: 16.0 14.657635468 109% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.