The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing."Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric, we discontinued productio

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing.
"Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. This coat should sell very well: since we have not offered an alpaca overcoat for five years and since our major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat, there will be pent-up customer demand. Also, since the price of most types of clothing has increased in each of the past five years, customers should be willing to pay significantly higher prices for alpaca overcoats than they did five years ago, and our company profits will increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

According to the passage in above, the new vice president of Sartorian is thinking that if they start to produce alpaca overcoat again, their revenue will increase. He or she attributed this assumption to some reasons. However, there are some unwarranted points behind that reasons.

First of all, they assume that this alpaca coat should be sold well because they did not produce it for five years and their major competitor company has finished the production of alpaca coat. Thus, they thought there will be big customer demand. There is no any conducted pool to measure people’s demand in order to buy this coat. Do people still want to wear this coat? This question should be answered. The fashion is changing year by year and five years is a quite long time to be changed the fashion. There might be showed up the new brands that compensate the lacking of alpaca coat. Additionally, these new brands might be more competitive than the old one. Initially customer’ demand must be tested whether they want to wear alpaca coat or not.

Secondly, as everyone knows that alpaca is an animal and people use this animal’s fur mercilessly. Over the five years, people might have sensitivity to animal right and be more willing to protect animals from be slaughtered. For this reason, people might protest the products which are made from animals. Company authorities must take in consideration to this possibility and do research about it.

Thirdly, the new vice president of Sartorian has mentioned in the letter about increase of price of most types of clothing in past five years. He or she assumed that the increase will directly be reflected to alpaca wool coat. Everyone must admit that the real animal furs are enormously expensive. Even if people could barely afford its price, with the general price rise, it would put people in difficult situation financially so, the might not prefer to buy alpaca wool made coat. By the way, if price of most kinds of clothing has increased, it might be a signal the industry and economy are not going well. Thus, the purchasing power might decline. As a result of that, people could not buy the extra non-essential products. These possibilities must be analyzed then, should be taken an action.

As a conclusion, the letter has not been supported with the full warranted assumption. It is needed to be showed further evidences. Foremost, it must be understood that alpaca coats are looking forward to be seeing in the shops’ shelves?

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Average: 7.2 (3 votes)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
According to the passage in above, the n...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nwarranted points behind that reasons. First of all, they assume that this ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 262, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...e will be big customer demand. There is no any conducted pool to measure people&ap...
^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hey want to wear alpaca coat or not. Secondly, as everyone knows that alpaca ...
^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ossibility and do research about it. Thirdly, the new vice president of Sarto...
^^^^
Line 10, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...zed then, should be taken an action. As a conclusion, the letter has not been...
^^^^
Line 10, column 207, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[7]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'to being'.
Suggestion: to being
...d that alpaca coats are looking forward to be seeing in the shops' shelves?
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, look, second, secondly, so, still, then, third, thirdly, thus, well, as a result, by the way, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2093.0 2260.96107784 93% => OK
No of words: 421.0 441.139720559 95% => OK
Chars per words: 4.97149643705 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52971130743 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63791453653 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.520190023753 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 646.2 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.388089312 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 77.5185185185 119.503703932 65% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.5925925926 23.324526521 67% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.85185185185 5.70786347227 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0834629070785 0.218282227539 38% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.024059844141 0.0743258471296 32% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0281579211436 0.0701772020484 40% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0505868034296 0.128457276422 39% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0132479955464 0.0628817314937 21% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 14.3799401198 68% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 48.3550499002 134% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 12.197005988 66% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.25 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.87 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 421 350
No. of Characters: 2004 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.53 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.76 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.459 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.593 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.44 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.252 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.45 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5