The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing.
"Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. This coat should sell very well: since we have not offered an alpaca overcoat for five years and since our major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat, there will be pent-up customer demand. Also, since the price of most types of clothing has increased in each of the past five years, customers should be willing to pay significantly higher prices for alpaca overcoats than they did five years ago, and our company profits will increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
It is stated in the memo that, due to scarcity of high quality wool fabric five years ago production of alpaca overcoat was stopped. Vice president of Sartorian Company wants to continue production as they have abandon supply of good quality fabric. Additionally, he support his argument by stating that, as we have not made alpaca overcoat for five year our major competitor no longer make these overcoats and by doing so we can gain large profit. However, before considering this advice some question must be answer.
Firstly, how many people like to wear overcoat these days? Or has fashioned of overcoat outdated in this five years? If, these day’s people are not wearing overcoat then it is blatant that company will not gain any profit. As the fashioned changed everyday people may think that wearing an overcoat is outdated fashioned if this is true then it is plausible that people will not buy overcoat. Fashion plays important parts in people’s life because it shows wither you are with time or running behind the time and no one like to run behind the time. If this happens to be true then making overcoats will lead to strong debacle and company may go into loss. By seeing this possibility advice made by vice precedent in the memo does not hold any water.
Secondly, how many people like to carry big overcoat? As, overcoat is big in size many people don’t like to carry that overcoat all around. Caring an overcoat around may restrict the movement of people because those who are in hurry may find very difficult to walk fast or run wearing an overcoat in this case people will not like to wear an overcoat. Now a day’s world is moving towards to compact things people want more compact products so they can carry everywhere easily. By seeing this mentality of people idea of continuing of making overcoat is attenuated in this generation.
Finally, why people will like to buy costly overcoat? Or why people will invest their money in such an expansive overcoat? As the price of clothing has touched a sky and it’s blatant that overcoat required more fabric than normal clothing which make it much more expansive than normal clothing and by seeing the scenario there will be few customer who will like to buy this overcoat and many people will ignore the overcoat. If this happens to be true then it’s blatant that company will not make profit and in the worst case this idea may exacerbate and company may land into huge loss.
In conclusion, the evidence provided in the memo, that supports his claim, is dubious as well as erroneous. However, if all questions are answer and more evidence is provided then it will strengthen the argument.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 464 350
No. of Characters: 2155 1500
No. of Different Words: 211 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.641 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.644 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.28 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 155 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.091 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.871 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.534 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.132 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 118, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...f overcoat outdated in this five years? If, these day’s people are not wearing ove...
^^
Line 3, column 122, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this day' or 'these days'?
Suggestion: this day; these days
...ercoat outdated in this five years? If, these day’s people are not wearing overcoat then ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 55, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...many people like to carry big overcoat? As, overcoat is big in size many people do...
^^
Line 5, column 71, Rule ID: ADJECTIVE_IN_ATTRIBUTE[1]
Message: A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
Suggestion: big
... to carry big overcoat? As, overcoat is big in size many people don’t like to carry that ov...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 336, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun customer seems to be countable; consider using: 'few customers'.
Suggestion: few customers
...nd by seeing the scenario there will be few customer who will like to buy this overcoat and ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 214, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d then it will strengthen the argument.
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, well, as to, in conclusion, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 28.8173652695 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2225.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 463.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.80561555076 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63868890866 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.361913018 2.78398813304 85% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.464362850972 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 702.0 705.55239521 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.7933078983 57.8364921388 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.136363636 119.503703932 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0454545455 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.95454545455 5.70786347227 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.108163057494 0.218282227539 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0428106997419 0.0743258471296 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0679203764136 0.0701772020484 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0777713794528 0.128457276422 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0948225592921 0.0628817314937 151% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.3799401198 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.62 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.34 8.32208582834 88% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 98.500998004 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.