The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing:
"Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high-quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our deluxe alpaca overcoats. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. This coat should sell very well since we have not offered an alpaca overcoat for five years and since our major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat, there will be pent-up customer demand. Also, since the price of most types of clothing has risen in each of the past five years, customers should be willing to pay significantly higher prices for alpaca overcoats than they did five years ago, and our company profits will increase."
In the vice president’s view , resuming production of alpaca overcoat is beneficial is based on several reasons. The first one is that he thought because no manufacturer is willing to produce the overcoat like they was 5 years ago, so as the only manufacturer, they must be lucrative. However, the author incorrectly assume that the market is willing to buy the alpaca coat like they used to be 5 years ago. There is a news report 3 years ago, asserting that the high quality wool fabric the vice president had difficulties to obtain has been derived from sheep that contracted with chronical diseases. What’s more, there has been endless complaint from the customers that they suffered skin diseases when they put on alpaca overcoats since they were first sold many years ago. If vice president cannot offer evidence to counter these hypothesis, it's inappropriate to say resuming production is lucrative.
The second one is that the vice president thought that people will pay more for expensive clothes and they must be willing to pay more to buy alpaca overcoat than 5 years ago and it’s obviously profitable. However , vice president mistakenly assume that people tend to pay more for expensive clothes is because they want to pursue more luxurious products because the economic situation is becoming better and better. What’s more , a well-adapted survey showed that the reputation of the alpaca overcoat made by such so-called high quality wool fabric is notorious, and thought as inexpensive. And it’s no reason to say that the outdated alpaca overcoat is still be regarded as luxury 5 years later despite its high quality wool fabric materials. If the vice president cannot offer some concrete evidence to prove that the overcoat is still fashionable and worthy of the more expensive price, it’s too hasty to say that resuming production is profitable
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 307 350
No. of Characters: 1529 1500
No. of Different Words: 145 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.186 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.98 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.61 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 83 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.909 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.082 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.431 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.431 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.155 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 29, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
In the vice president’s view , resuming production of alpaca overcoat ...
^^
Line 1, column 830, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this hypothesis' or 'these hypotheses', 'these hypothesises'?
Suggestion: this hypothesis; these hypotheses; these hypothesises
...sident cannot offer evidence to counter these hypothesis, its inappropriate to say resuming prod...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 213, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...o and it’s obviously profitable. However , vice president mistakenly assume that p...
^^
Line 2, column 428, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... becoming better and better. What’s more , a well-adapted survey showed that the r...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, second, so, still, well
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 27.0 55.5748502994 49% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1563.0 2260.96107784 69% => OK
No of words: 307.0 441.139720559 70% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.09120521173 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18585898806 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71234315879 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 151.0 204.123752495 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.491856677524 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 498.6 705.55239521 71% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.8592126458 57.8364921388 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 142.090909091 119.503703932 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.9090909091 23.324526521 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.90909090909 5.70786347227 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 2.0 5.15768463074 39% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.208483463822 0.218282227539 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.094556972821 0.0743258471296 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0644301026898 0.0701772020484 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.175042846128 0.128457276422 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0316203265929 0.0628817314937 50% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 14.3799401198 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.3550499002 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.54 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.16 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 62.0 98.500998004 63% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.