The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores.“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are f

In the preceding argument, the owner of Movies Galore suggested its retail stores to close earlier and reduce stock to cut expenses, based on good effects already received from the store in downtown Marston. These strategies may sound reasonable at the face, but many critical, yet ignored questions need to be addressed.

To begin with, the manager believes that raising price is not a good way to deal with profit drops, for special bargains are what Movies Galore is famous for. However, the manager doesn't make it clear by comparing with other retail stores. If the price they offer is already much lower than the current market, this might be one of the main reasons that cause declines in the profits. It's much better to come up with a price plan after an extensive marketing analysis.

Additionally, building upon the implication that the retail store in downtown Marston reduced expenses greatly by closing three hours earlier than usual, the manager asks other stores to do the same. However, there are many other factors that affect income and costs that should be considered. For example, the Marston store is located in the downtown business area, so few customers visit at night. Conversely, if a store located in a living community closes earlier, it may lose most of its customers. Thus, a more detailed time schedule should be designed for each store after careful investigations.

Last but not least, the manager decided to reduce stock by eliminating movies released five years ago. The assumption here is old movies are no longer popular and it's just a waste of money keeping them in stock. One question may arise here is that some masterpieces are always welcoming, while other newer movies may not be that popular. As a result, it would be beneficial if the stores throw away movies based on their sales statistics instead of the release date.

Due to aforementioned evidence, although closing earlier and eliminating old movies might be useful strategies to deal with profit declines, more vigorous and thorough investigations is in need to come up with better plans for each store specifically.

Votes
Average: 8.3 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 181, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ore is famous for. However, the manager doesnt make it clear by comparing with other r...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, conversely, however, if, may, so, thus, while, for example, as a result, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1777.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 353.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03399433428 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33454660006 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58999747023 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 202.0 204.123752495 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.57223796034 0.468620217663 122% => OK
syllable_count: 563.4 705.55239521 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.6115466562 57.8364921388 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.0625 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0625 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.6875 5.70786347227 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0934836083169 0.218282227539 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0322333000754 0.0743258471296 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0258986656194 0.0701772020484 37% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0558406944623 0.128457276422 43% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0274696094043 0.0628817314937 44% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.62 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.