The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine.
"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night."
The author represents an argument for an advertising firm and comparing their profit margins with the success rate of the firm . He supports the evidence with the an average of 6 sleeping hours of their executives and wants to hire people those who sleeps only 6 hours. However , due to unsupportive evidence , the argument is not conclusive until the following concerns get clarified.
First of all , The author considering the sleeping hours of only 300 executives as a supportive evidence , but the author failed to include number of males and females out of those 300 which might also cause difference in their resting hours based on thier gender .
secondly , there is no proper evidence that the executives are working in a particular timing , so the work hours might be different among them . the executive working in the shift A (6 AM - 12PM) might have some rest during their working hours compared to the executives working on sift B ( 12PM - 7 PM ).
Thirdly, The author taken only night sleeping hours of the executives , but he failed to mention the resting hours during the day time which can also be factor as an executive taking at least 2 hours of rest in day time might not require more then 6 hours of rest during nights.
To sum up , based on the false assumptions and improper evidence , the author's reasoning does not provide concrete evidence to support this argument . and also it is not a proper assumption to hire people only who sleep less then 6 hours will take company to higher margins and business growth.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 7 15
No. of Words: 263 350
No. of Characters: 1229 1500
No. of Different Words: 139 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.027 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.673 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.485 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 84 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 42 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 37.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.783 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.489 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.831 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.204 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 127, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...argins with the success rate of the firm . He supports the evidence with the an av...
^^
Line 1, column 160, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'an' is left.
Suggestion: the; an
...he firm . He supports the evidence with the an average of 6 sleeping hours of their ex...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 278, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...e those who sleeps only 6 hours. However , due to unsupportive evidence , the argu...
^^
Line 1, column 309, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
.... However , due to unsupportive evidence , the argument is not conclusive until th...
^^
Line 3, column 13, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... concerns get clarified. First of all , The author considering the sleeping hou...
^^
Line 3, column 105, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... 300 executives as a supportive evidence , but the author failed to include number...
^^
Line 3, column 264, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...heir resting hours based on thier gender . secondly , there is no proper eviden...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Secondly
...esting hours based on thier gender . secondly , there is no proper evidence that the ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ours based on thier gender . secondly , there is no proper evidence that the ex...
^^
Line 5, column 94, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...tives are working in a particular timing , so the work hours might be different am...
^^
Line 5, column 144, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...work hours might be different among them . the executive working in the shift A 6 ...
^^
Line 5, column 147, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...k hours might be different among them . the executive working in the shift A 6 AM -...
^^^
Line 5, column 288, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ared to the executives working on sift B 12PM - 7 PM . Thirdly, The author tak...
^^
Line 5, column 301, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...xecutives working on sift B 12PM - 7 PM . Thirdly, The author taken only night...
^^
Line 7, column 70, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...y night sleeping hours of the executives , but he failed to mention the resting ho...
^^
Line 7, column 244, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[2]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...rest in day time might not require more then 6 hours of rest during nights. To su...
^^^^
Line 9, column 10, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ours of rest during nights. To sum up , based on the false assumptions and impr...
^^
Line 9, column 65, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... false assumptions and improper evidence , the authors reasoning does not provide ...
^^
Line 9, column 149, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ncrete evidence to support this argument . and also it is not a proper assumption ...
^^
Line 9, column 152, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: And
...ete evidence to support this argument . and also it is not a proper assumption to h...
^^^
Line 9, column 226, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[2]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...tion to hire people only who sleep less then 6 hours will take company to higher mar...
^^^^
Line 9, column 296, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to higher margins and business growth.
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, at least, first of all, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 19.6327345309 31% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 12.0 28.8173652695 42% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 55.5748502994 65% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1265.0 2260.96107784 56% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 263.0 441.139720559 60% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.80988593156 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.02706775958 4.56307096286 88% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57336687698 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 139.0 204.123752495 68% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.528517110266 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 387.9 705.55239521 55% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 19.7664670659 46% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 56.0920759792 57.8364921388 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 140.555555556 119.503703932 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.2222222222 23.324526521 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 12.0 5.70786347227 210% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 22.0 5.25449101796 419% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.220292223732 0.218282227539 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0949471972366 0.0743258471296 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0667428232658 0.0701772020484 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.126358508341 0.128457276422 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0602408495425 0.0628817314937 96% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 14.3799401198 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.5 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.21 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.78 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 45.0 98.500998004 46% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.