The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine."A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep t

Essay topics:

The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine.

"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night."

While the argument put forth in the article may have a legitimate recommendation to businesses to hire only people who need less than six hours of sleep, it is due to the lack of solid data and evidence along with glaring assumptions, which make the argument difficult to evaluate. Without knowledge of the particular demographics of the people who were studied -their age groups or their prevailing health conditions along with their quality of sleep, the author's argument has little weight. Also, the lack of the quantifiable factors which were used to compare the growths of the different advertising firm further makes the argument difficult to substantiate. The conclusion put forth relies on assumptions which are rather weak, unconvincing and have several flaws which make the argument weak.

Firstly, without any reference to the demographics of the advertising executives who were a part of the study, we cannot come to any conclusion. For example, if the group which were being studied comprised mainly of young men and women who were healthy, then the argument is flawed as it highly possible that the same recommendation could prove harmful to executives who were older. Another omission in the recommendation is the lack of data regarding the health condition of the participants of the study. Perhaps, it is possible that the participants whose businesses performed well had a majority of healthy individuals who did not face issues with six hours of sleep. This may not be the case for another organization with a different demographic composition and may lead to severe consequences in the long run. It is because of this lack of data in the argument, which makes it difficult to make any conclusions.

Furthermore, there is no reference to the long-term impact of getting less than six hours of sleep for the participants of the group. Had there been evidence which proved that there were no ill effects to the participants of the study who slept less than six hours, we could have some ground to evaluate the judgement. There is a huge probability that the participants who slept less than six hours each night would face severe health issues in the long run and therefore, the firm employing these people could suffer huge losses. As a result of no such study, concluding the above is incorrect.

Additionally, we cannot infer from the statement that the firms which had higher profits were essentially due to the employees used to sleeping less than six hours. This is again faulty reasoning, there may have been additional important factors which dictated the success and higher profit margins of the companies such as their strategy, market share, capital which could have played a huge role. Without knowing the strategy of the companies or their inherent capital, we cannot incorrectly infer about the proposed argument. Hence, the author's argument is again flawed

In conclusion, though the author may be correct in his argument to hire only those people who slept less than six hours each night, it is because of the aforementioned reasons and the vagueness inherent in the argument that we cannot make any kind of conclusion. It would be easier to make a conclusion about the author's argument had the argument included the data which is vital to understanding the study. Hence, without such solid data, we are forced to assume that the author's argument is more of a wishful thinking than substantive evidence and fails to deliver.

Votes
Average: 7.9 (4 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 362, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ographics of the people who were studied -their age groups or their prevailing he...
^^
Line 1, column 459, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... along with their quality of sleep, the authors argument has little weight. Also, the l...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 197, Rule ID: COMPRISED_CHIEFLY_OF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'composed mainly of' or 'comprised mainly' or 'consisted mainly of'?
Suggestion: composed mainly of; comprised mainly; consisted mainly of
..., if the group which were being studied comprised mainly of young men and women who were healthy, t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 541, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...about the proposed argument. Hence, the authors argument is again flawed In conclusi...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 314, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...e easier to make a conclusion about the authors argument had the argument included the ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 474, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... data, we are forced to assume that the authors argument is more of a wishful thinking ...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, furthermore, hence, if, may, regarding, so, then, therefore, well, while, for example, in conclusion, kind of, such as, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 28.0 13.6137724551 206% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 27.0 16.3942115768 165% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2898.0 2260.96107784 128% => OK
No of words: 574.0 441.139720559 130% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0487804878 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.89472135074 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79927373109 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.423344947735 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 899.1 705.55239521 127% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 58.4558807991 57.8364921388 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 144.9 119.503703932 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.7 23.324526521 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.65 5.70786347227 134% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 14.0 6.88822355289 203% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0694445854624 0.218282227539 32% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0256534912312 0.0743258471296 35% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0288364314937 0.0701772020484 41% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0436425663757 0.128457276422 34% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0219216608834 0.0628817314937 35% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.7 14.3799401198 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 48.3550499002 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.24 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 98.500998004 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- OK
----------------
and more:
suppose it works for advertising companies, but it doesn't mean it is going to work for other businesses.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 574 350
No. of Characters: 2838 1500
No. of Different Words: 232 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.895 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.944 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.739 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 184 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 143 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 106 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.073 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.362 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.557 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.162 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5