The following appeared as part of a business plan developed by the manager of the Rialto Movie Theater. "Despite its downtown location, the Rialto Movie Theater, a local institution for five decades, must make big changes or close its doors forever. It should follow the example of the new Apex Theater in the mall outside of town. When the Apex opened last year, it featured a video arcade, plush carpeting and seats, and a state-of-the-art sound system. Furthermore, in a recent survey, over 85 percent of respondents reported that the high price of newly released movies prevents them from going to the movies more than five times per year. Thus, if the Rialto intends to hold on to its share of a decreasing pool of moviegoers, it must offer the same features as Apex." Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The extent to which Rialto Movie Theater should make changes has been complicated in its implication. The manager of the Rialto Movie Theater suggests that it must make big changes or close its doors forever. In addition, if the Rialto intends to hold on to its share of a decreasing pool of moviegoers, it must offer the same features as Apex. To buttress his argument, the author cites the features of Apex and results from survey. Although following the way in which Apex did might be beneficial to attract moviegoers, we need more evidences and know the answers to several questions to evaluate whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result.
To begin with, the author needs to answer the question that whether Apex Theater and Rialto are comparable. In this business plan, it is indicated that Rialto is located at downtown while Apex Theater is in the all outside of town. If more population resident out of town because of serenity neighborhood, then visiting Rialto would be more convenient to them, thereby curtailing the significance of copying the mode from Apex. The author should also need to answer whether features such as high-technological equipment is the main attractions to most people. Furthermore, we should be offered more detailed information about two theaters, such as services, environment, media qualities and so on. Since Apex just opened last year, many people might visit it out of curiosity or interest but cannot ensure their future frequent visit. Unless Apex and Rialto are comparable in almost all aspects, it would be meaningless to draw experience from Apex. The author also fails to answer questions about the current condition of Apex, for example, the number of moviegoers of Apex. If not many individuals visit Apex, we cannot consider features in Apex are distinguished and admirable, so that it is groundless for Rialto to make changes.
Moreover, another question requires answer is the validity of survey results. How many people participated in the survey? How the survey conducted and how the questions formulated? If the sample size is too small, 85 percentage perhaps does not have significant meanings. In all likelihood, if the movie prices are affordable and reasonable for workers but not students, then disproportionate number of students involved in the survey would distort the outcome. Even though high price could be a justified reason to prevent people from going to movie theater, is it the major drag? What about other potential reasons? It is plausible that factors such as other recreational activities and increasingly heavy workload divert people’s attentions. In this case, advertising movie as a compelling way of enjoyment is more influential than simply change the Rialto Movie Theater.
Last but not least, the author unfairly suggests that to hold on to its share of a decreasing pool of moviegoers, it must offer the same features as Apex. As mentioned above, if the high price is the major drag on low attendance, lowering price or providing discount may be a more effective way. When people are no longer pay much interest or stress on watching movie and would like to play video games, changing features is also bootless. The author should also answer the question with regards to whether it is financially and technologically feasible to make changes. We know that plush carpeting and seats and a state-of-the-art sound system is not cheap. Therefore, it would not be a wise idea if the costs outweigh potential benefits much. There might be other better or relatively inexpensive approaches to achieve the expected results, such as giving rewards card, holding movie-related activities and so forth. To make persuasive suggestions, a better approach would be to find out the reasons behind the current failure and improve them to attract more consumers. To be sure, faithfully satisfy visitors’ demands are essential to prosperity.
To sum up, as it stands, the recommendation is based on considerable unaddressed questions. To better decide whether the Rialto Movie Theater would accomplish the expected result, the manager ought to answer the questions as follows: first, whether Apex and Rialto movie theater are comparable and whether Rialto succeeded in doing so; second, whether survey result can provide convincing support to this suggestion; finally, whether offering the same feature as Apex is the "must do" event.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 32 15
No. of Words: 716 350
No. of Characters: 3623 1500
No. of Different Words: 328 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.173 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.06 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.794 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 276 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 205 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 141 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 90 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.375 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.839 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.263 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.426 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.104 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 666, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... is likely to have the predicted result. To begin with, the author needs to ans...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 881, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... simply change the Rialto Movie Theater. Last but not least, the author unfairly ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1157, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...os; demands are essential to prosperity. To sum up, as it stands, the recommendat...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 93, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... on considerable unaddressed questions. To better decide whether the Rialto Movie ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, if, may, moreover, second, so, then, therefore, while, for example, in addition, such as, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 35.0 19.6327345309 178% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 26.0 12.9520958084 201% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 25.0 11.1786427146 224% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 86.0 55.5748502994 155% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3773.0 2260.96107784 167% => OK
No of words: 712.0 441.139720559 161% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.29915730337 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.16559078211 4.56307096286 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00437040946 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 344.0 204.123752495 169% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.483146067416 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 1157.4 705.55239521 164% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 14.0 2.70958083832 517% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 90.7725070605 57.8364921388 157% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.103448276 119.503703932 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5517241379 23.324526521 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.31034482759 5.70786347227 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.23121298671 0.218282227539 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.068988963702 0.0743258471296 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.114170195246 0.0701772020484 163% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.152498804494 0.128457276422 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0877053404619 0.0628817314937 139% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 14.3799401198 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.76 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.06 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 191.0 98.500998004 194% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.