The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.
"The birth-rate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birth-rate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument
It is stated in the recommendation that, as the birth rate is declining less number of students will go to school and collages so funds should be reduced for education during next year. Additionally, it is also mentioned that, funds which is saved should be used for an adult programs and welfare because population of an adults will increase. However, before consideration this recommendation some question must be answer.
To begin with, how can you predict the population of the children in coming next ten year on the base of last year? And what is the possibility that more people will not migrate in the Calatrava City in coming next ten year? Tough, due to efficient family planning or some other reason birth rate has decline that does not mean in coming next year birth rate will not increase. Maybe, birth rate will increase and death rate of adults may also increase in such case it reducing funds for children’s education is will be debacle. Maybe more funds will be needed for in next decade on the education. It is also possible that in coming next year more families will migrate to this city in search of jobs and opportunity in such case it is blatant that population will increase and it is plausible to increase the budget of the education.
Moreover, on what bases it is said that number of students in public school will decrease? Or how can you say that number of school in public school will decrease? We cannot benighted the fact that in coming ten year public schools in the city of Calatrava may gain good reputation and entice more students from other cities. It may also happen that due to increase in population in the city more students will enroll in public school. If this happens to be true then, it is plausible to increase budget of education for next decade. If we consider this scenario then, conclusion recommendation made does not hold any water.
Finally, what is more important children’s education or adults program? As children’s are feature of this country so it is blatant to invest more on new generation then to organize adult program. It does not mean program and city facilities for adults are not at all important it is but not more than children’s education. So cutting down education budget and using it for adults may debacle for our next generation. By considering this it can be said that recommendation made by committee planning is weak.
In conclusion, evidence provided by the arguer, that support his claim, are dubious as well as erroneous. If all questions are answer and more evidence are provided than it may strengthen the claim.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 450 350
No. of Characters: 2105 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.606 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.678 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.558 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.455 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.709 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.773 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.485 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.157 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 320, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'an adult' or simply 'adults'?
Suggestion: an adult; adults
...grams and welfare because population of an adults will increase. However, before consider...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 625, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...mendation made does not hold any water. Finally, what is more important children...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, well, in conclusion, as well as, to begin with, what is more
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 24.0 12.9520958084 185% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2165.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 450.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81111111111 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6057793516 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67013570654 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.406666666667 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 674.1 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 0.0 8.76447105788 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.9226492684 57.8364921388 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.4090909091 119.503703932 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4545454545 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.36363636364 5.70786347227 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.249842430133 0.218282227539 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0799825802633 0.0743258471296 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.078191736391 0.0701772020484 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125045164358 0.128457276422 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0843169294469 0.0628817314937 134% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 14.3799401198 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.62 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.3 8.32208582834 88% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.