The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where consumption of the plant beneficia is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of beneficia can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of nutritional supplements derived from beneficia. We predict this will dramatically reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author of the newsletter predicts that absenteeism in schools and workplaces can be drastically lessened by the regular use of supplements derived from beneficia. The author's recommendation is based on the utility of beneficia in prevention of colds with cold being the most prominent reason for leaves in schools and workplaces. However, before the recommendation can be properly evaluated, the following three questions need to be answered.
First of all, are the reasons for absence provided by the students at schools and the employees at workplaces genuine? The author assumes that the people using cold as a reason for taking leaves are speaking the truth. However, this might not be the case. For instance, employees could be lying about the reasons for their absence. They might be taking casual leaves because of workload and cite cold as the reason. Also, it could be that a leave could be for personal reasons which they can't mention publicly. The time it takes to cure mild cold is pretty less and hence it could be that people find it easier to justify their leave later and hence is a popular reason among people. If the above stands true, the author's original argument doesn't hold water.
Moreover, how likely are people to actually follow the author's recommendation and use the nutritional supplements of beneficia? The author predicts the decline in absenteeism once people start using beneficia products based on the assumption that the recipients of the newsletter will actually buy these products. However, this might not be true. It is plausible that the prices of these products are on the high end and most people can't afford it. Furthermore it could be that it takes some time to cure cold using beneficia products and people prefer taking cold medicines to get rid of cold faster. If either of these scenarios comes true, the plausibility of the author's prediction coming true is significantly weakened.
Finally, is plant beneficia the reason for the small number of doctor visits of patients with cold in East Meria? The author presumes that the consumption of plant beneficia is the reason for the low frequency of doctor visits for cold reasons in East Meria. However, it is possible that the weather in East Meria is consistently hot which makes it less likely for people to catch cold. Additionally, it is possible that the people of East Meria prefer household measures to cure cold rather than seeing a doctor. If any of these cases holds true, the author's contention in the argument is heavily hampered.
In conclusion, the author may be correct with his prediction regarding the reduction in absenteeism in schools and colleges. However, as it stands now, the prediction rests on three unwarranted assumptions which hinder its validity. If the author would like to increase the persuasiveness of this argument, he needs to answer the questions mentioned above.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 481 350
No. of Characters: 2382 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.683 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.952 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.674 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 176 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.24 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.25 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.72 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.302 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.498 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 172, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...supplements derived from beneficia. The authors recommendation is based on the utility ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 489, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ould be for personal reasons which they cant mention publicly. The time it takes to ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 741, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...nds true, the authors original argument doesnt hold water. Moreover, how likely are...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 56, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ikely are people to actually follow the authors recommendation and use the nutritional ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 434, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...cts are on the high end and most people cant afford it. Furthermore it could be that...
^^^^
Line 5, column 450, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Furthermore,
...igh end and most people cant afford it. Furthermore it could be that it takes some time to ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 622, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'scenarios'' or 'scenario's'?
Suggestion: scenarios'; scenario's
... rid of cold faster. If either of these scenarios comes true, the plausibility of the aut...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 668, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ios comes true, the plausibility of the authors prediction coming true is significantly...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 553, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
.... If any of these cases holds true, the authors contention in the argument is heavily h...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, finally, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, moreover, regarding, so, for instance, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2432.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 480.0 441.139720559 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.06666666667 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68069463864 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72850182742 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.445833333333 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 737.1 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.4493578049 57.8364921388 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.28 119.503703932 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.2 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.44 5.70786347227 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0684382735489 0.218282227539 31% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0243728699856 0.0743258471296 33% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0295233533168 0.0701772020484 42% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0466335501896 0.128457276422 36% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0227471957275 0.0628817314937 36% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.03 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.