The following recommendation appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.
"Two years ago, the nearby town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. Therefore, the best way to improve Hopewell's economy—and generate additional tax revenues—is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The mayor of Hopewell recommends that they build golf course in their town to alleviate the economy and generate additoinal tax revenues. The mayor suggests this based on the increase in tourism, new businesses and consequently, tax reveues in the nearby town of Ocean View after they have built a golf course two years ago. However, before the recommendation can be properly evaluated, one would require answers to the following questions.
Firstly, are the two towns, Ocean View and Hopewell, similar? In other words, can the circumstances from one town be used to generalize and predict for another town? There is a possibility that the two towns are remakably different - perhaps Ocean View has all the geographical prerequiistes like an ocean view for tourism to flourish while Hopewell's geography with presence of oil wells hinders the development of tourism in the town. Furthermore, it is possible that the atmoshpere in Ocean View is serene encouraging tourists to come for a peaceful vacation whereas the air in Hopewell is laden with dust due to rugged roads and oil well drilling discouraging tourists to come in. If either of the scenario has merit, then the mayor's prediction that tourism would improve after builiding a golf course in the town will fall flat on its face.
Secondly, how confident can one be about the prospects of tourism in the town when the nearby town has already developed the infrastructure needed for tourism? The mayor prematurely assumes that he would observe a similar tourism boom in the town if a golf course is built. However, this may not turn out to become a reality. One can argue that since the nearby town is already providing enough aminities for people to come and relax and it has been quite some time since it is kicked off tourism, people may be disinclined to choose a new town that is just getting started in tourism as their holiday destination. If the above case turns out to be true, the mayor's argument is significantly weakened.
Finally, are people in the town interested in starting new businesses? It is possible that the people in the town are primarily employed in Oil industry in the town and are not free enough to start new businesses in the town. Or perhaps, the people in the town have already set up new businesses in the near by town Ocean View and are reluctant to return back to their town because of the already established lucrative businesses in the nearby town. If that is the case, then much to the mayor's dissappointment, new businesses will not be started in the town after the golf course is built.
Therefore, the argument, as it stands, is unpursuasive as the mayor does not provide any information addressing any of the above posed questoins. One would be in a better position to evaluate the recommendation if the mayor can provide answers to the above questions, perhaps, in a detailed manner leaving no room for ambiguity.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 13 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 498 350
No. of Characters: 2370 1500
No. of Different Words: 220 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.724 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.759 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.713 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 128 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.211 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.669 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.842 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.369 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.584 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.132 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 731, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'mayors'' or 'mayor's'?
Suggestion: mayors'; mayor's
...her of the scenario has merit, then the mayors prediction that tourism would improve a...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 58, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...fident can one be about the prospects of tourism in the town when the nearby town...
^^
Line 5, column 661, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'mayors'' or 'mayor's'?
Suggestion: mayors'; mayor's
...he above case turns out to be true, the mayors argument is significantly weakened. ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 304, Rule ID: NEAR_BY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nearby'?
Suggestion: nearby
...ve already set up new businesses in the near by town Ocean View and are reluctant to re...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 349, Rule ID: RETURN_BACK[1]
Message: Use simply 'return'.
Suggestion: return
...by town Ocean View and are reluctant to return back to their town because of the already es...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 278, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a detailed manner" with adverb for "detailed"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...nswers to the above questions, perhaps, in a detailed manner leaving no room for ambiguity.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, well, whereas, while, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2425.0 2260.96107784 107% => OK
No of words: 498.0 441.139720559 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86947791165 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72397222731 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79104578726 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 204.123752495 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.455823293173 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 763.2 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 66.3760377949 57.8364921388 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.631578947 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.2105263158 23.324526521 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.63157894737 5.70786347227 134% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.419945608937 0.218282227539 192% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.140199210931 0.0743258471296 189% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.105924150187 0.0701772020484 151% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.237196009402 0.128457276422 185% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.122595847649 0.0628817314937 195% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 48.3550499002 111% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.26 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.13 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.